"One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer] is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them......Oh my God, what have I just said?" - Stu Nahan, USTV Commentator

Monday 12.31.01

Just in case anyone was wondering, this is what happens when someone drops an eight-ton bomb on your village.

This ought to scare the hell out of all of us.... The rate of AIDS infectionin China is growing at breakneck speed- reported cases are up 67% this year. Who says that what you don't know can't kill you?

At midnight (Central European Time) tonight, Europeans in 12 countries will begin using the Euro. This marks the largest currency changeover in history. The Euro will become the currency for approximately 300 million people. The 12 countries participating in the euro are: Austria, Belgium, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, Portugal and Spain. Not to mention Kosovo and Montenegro.

The Yugoslavian government may protest otherwise, but Kosovo is beginning to look and act more and more like an independent country. It's been a long time coming, and frankly, Kosovars deserve independence if that is what they choose. I can say that having lived and worked there before the war. Given what I saw, they have every right to want to be independent of Serb dominance. Now, with the introduction of the Euro, the case for the independence of Kosovo just becomes that much stronger.

Resistance is futile.... AOL, aka The Evil Empire, says it has added another million unsuspecting and undiscerning fools to it's customer rolls. Sounds like mass hypnosis to me.

Here's a choice I can get behind: Jerry Falwell was named the Dumbest Person of the Year by Mad Magazine.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Five firemen in Longview, TX used a ladder truck to help an off-duty fireman propose to his sweetheart. Now they have been reprimanded for using city-owned property for personal reasons.

When bad things happen to good children.

The sad legacy of the Taliban was that it wasn't about building up Afghanistan. It was about power and control- all perverted in the name of religion. Now the government and the country must find a way to rebuild from the rubble. Never mind that there are no resources to rebuild with.

The most over- and under-reported stories of 2001, according to Seattle Weekly.

Yet another potential casualty of 9.11.01. America West Airlines struggles to stay afloat, at a time when most Americans appear in no hurry to fly anywhere.

Perhaps her sister was the wrong size? A Nebraska woman unknowingly returns a box full of her sister's ashes to her local Wal-Mart. You'd think she would have at least looked inside the box first....


Sunday 12.30.01

2001 was not an easy year to live in the Houston area. If it's true that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, we're in good shape.

Let's hear it for armchair quarterbacks! Or, how to conduct a war in Afghanistan from sunny Tampa, FL.

Maryland offers free (prescription) drugs to the needy.

The Seven Wonders of the World Wide Web.

Non-smokers only need apply.... Now, I'm as anti-smoking as the next person (probably moreso), but doesn't this sound as if we're headed down a slippery slope? What gets banned next as a condition of employment? Alcohol? Watercrafts? Motorcycles? Skydiving? It's a valid question, and one that needs to be addressed before potential employers are allowed to dictate lifestyles to employees.

Can someone be convicted of a crime in part because of the tattoos they wear? In Canada, that is indeed possible. If you're going to commit a crime, be careful of what you may already have tattooed on your body.

Egyptian author Naguib Mahfouz is still one of the most perceptive voices in the Arab world. At 90, he may be suffering from the frailties of advanced age, but he is still fully involved in the world around him.

When you feel the need to complain about the weather, it's time for a reality check. Things could be worse- you could be in Buffalo.

One of my favorite narrow-minded conservatives, Phyllis Schlafly, expounds on the state of education in our country.

Those of you hoping that the new Afghanistan would be a bastion of freedom for women are just going to have to keep holding your breath. Welcome the new boss, same as the old boss....

Iowa's predator laws, designed to keep dangerous sex offenders in prison past the end of their term, is now being used against criminals whose crimes have nothing to do with sex. Civil liberties can be such a nuisance sometimes.

So, just how many lap dances do those tax dollars buy? What happens when undercover cops play the role a little TOO well??

Sometimes you eat the bear; sometimes the bear eats you....

Now, THIS is creepy. Russell Yates, the husband of accused child-killer Andrea Yates, has set up a website in memory of his five children. What makes it creepy is that he has put up the video of the children's funeral. It's almost as if Yates is enjoying the spotlight in a sick sort of way. When I saw a news story about this last night, one analyst said, "There is something not quite right about this family." I would find it difficult to argue with that assessment. This whole sad saga becomes stranger by the day....

The Fox Nuisance Channel has said that Geraldo Rivera made an "honest mistake" in his reporting of a friendly-fire incident in Afghanistan. I find it interesting that FNC would use Rivera's name and the term "journalistic integrity" in the same sentence. I'm not sure that has ever happened before. Rivera also admitted that he never actually came under direct Taliban small-arms fire. Apparently, it was just local kids pulling a practical joke and throwing firecrackers at him while he was on camera.

Attorney General John Ashcroft has scrapped a plan to pay for DNA testing of some inmates who claim unlawful imprisonment. When asked about the turnabout, Ashcroft said simply, "We feel that if they're in jail, they're there for a reason. If they don't know what it is, it sure as hell isn't our problem."

Chairman Ashcroft's approach to law enforcement is about to be given a go overseas. Britain's Lord Chief Justice is discussing the possibility of locking some people up- before they commit a crime. This sort of "prophylactic justice" is intended to be used against people considered to be a danger- such as violent pedophiles. "Although this would be a huge infringement on the individual's rights, we've got to think of the rights of those who would be offended against as well." Are we getting closer to the point where merely thinking about committing a crime will be sufficient cause for arrest? Somewhere in England, George Orwell is rolling over in his grave.

As much as I don't support Shrub, there is one thing that even I have to admit: Shrub and 9.11.01 were made for each other. Without 9.11.01, Shrub would still be rumblin', stumblin', and fumblin' his way through his Presidency. No he looks like a hero. Go figure....

The year 2001 in Internet Law. This is something that does and will continue to impact every one of us in more ways than we can comprehend.

A woman in China is the unfortunate loser in that's country's first sexual harrassment suit. The victim had sought only a public apology, but was denied even that since the court felt she did not prove her claim.

At least we know they won't be going anywhere for awhile.... Sixty percent of Latvia's juvenile inmates are in pre-trial detention, still waiting for their day in court. Some have been there for as long as three years. Now the European Union is telling Latvia to clean up it's act or face encountering difficulties with it's drive to achieve EU membership in 2004.

AIDS activist dies; is listed in critical condition. Say what??? (from The Drudge Report)

Let's see...be polite, serve peanuts, check for bombs. A flight attendant is suspended because she felt unqualified to check for explosive ordnance.

Tiresome things 2001 and beyond.

Who says crime doesn't pay?

A teacher is fired for teaching too much. Here is a case of political correctness run amok.

Ebay ends their Auction for America. Ebay had originally set a $100 million goal, but ended up raising just over $7 million. Evidently, even the Internet has some limitations.

If you're sending email from India, you may want to be careful. Big Brother really IS watching you....


Friday 12.28.01

12.28.81: Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first test-tube baby in the US, was born in Norfolk, VA.

The Progessive Agenda for 2001. These are the issues that us left-wing liberal types would do well to focus on during the coming year. Come on; do your part to piss off the Religious Right! Be a thorn in someone's side!!

Airport security has become an oxymoron since 9.11.01. The prevailing theory seems to be that if airports make boarding a plane sufficiently onerous and inconvenient, the flying public will feel safer. And that is really what it is all about- making people feel safer. The reality is almost beside the point. How does outlawing butter knives and nail clippers truly improve safety in the skies? How does making people stand in interminable lines enhance safety?

The FAA announced early today that airport security checks will now include mandatory mammograms of all female travelers. "When it comes to passenger safety, you can treat the luggage, or you can treat the whole passenger," explained FAA Security Director Alicia Axill. "Certainly, we are addressing complaints that weapons are still making it past security, but frankly, terrorists are not the number one killer of women between the ages of 35 and 54."

You promised there would be no singing.... Cambodia unveils a novel new weapon in the war against karaoke bar- tanks. I suppose that is one way to keep Uncle Lenny from singing yet another rendition of "Born to Run".

Marija Milosevic, the daughter of Slobodan Milosevic, former Yugoslav dictator and "Butcher of the Balkans", went on trial in the Hague today. She's charged with wildly firing shots from a pistol when her father was arrested after a 36-hour standoff. Fortunately, she wasn't much of a shot. All she managed to hit was a vehicle belonging to a government negotiator.

According to one official, the shoe bomb that David Reid wore onto the Paris-Miami flight was extremely sophisticated and powerful. Perhaps the latest Air Jordans??

It may be difficult to believe, but there was news before 9.11.01. Here is a look at some of the stories preceding the attacks. Chandra Levy, anyone??

Ok, so you're a new member of the Afghan parliament. You have a role in putting your nation back together. You're excited, willing, and ready to get to work. Unfortunately, you can't do a thing until you can find an office.

Merry Christmas; You're Deported.... This is the story of how deporting 69 undocumented Hispanics will apparently save Utah from the threat of terrorism. Never mind the fact that these folks at the bottom of the economic food chain are what keep our economy going. They have become a bottom-line necessity that business and law enforcement turn a blind and conspiratorial eye toward until it becomes just too inconvenient. Or too politically expedient to pass up.

New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani gave his farewell speech yesterday. After eight years of an anything-but-uneventful term in office, many wonder what the futures holds for Giuliani.

Fat and happy.... Sports Illustrated's Frank Deford ruminates on the increasingly sedentary American lifestyle, and wonders what impact it will have on our children. No, it's not a crisis, but you do have to wonder about a nation whose young are so fat and happy -- and whether or not their inability to be competitive in sports will eventually be reflected in other, more important endeavors in their lives.

After the dot.com crash. As internet companies continued to go belly-up, the World Wide Web still grew 33%. With all of those new people on the Web, why is it so hard to make money?

Does this mean our tee time has been cancelled?? Buffalo, NY, gets a white Christmas all at once.

Hey, I've got the perfect solution to Argentina's economic crisis! Just print more money....

"An abomination to God".... A New Mexico church has decided to display it's narrow-minded intolerance for all to see by burning Harry Potter books. Pastor Jack Brock's "holy bonfire" is part of his effort to convince Christians to remove everything from their homes that prevents them from communicating with God. "These books encourage our youth to learn more about witches, warlocks, and sorcerers, and those things are an abomination to God and to me. Harry Potter books are going to destroy the lives of many young people." Apparently, an open mind and an active imagination are things to be feared and suppressed....

Evidently, the pressure to be festive during the holiday season proved to be just a bit too much for three British women to endure.


Thursday 12.27.01

Close your eyes for just a moment. Let your mind go, back to a place where the temperature is balmy, the palm trees sway in the breeze, and the Minnesota Twins are in first place. Say what???

Sick transit gloria.... Ah, college: those four years spent trying to get the beer and drugs out of your system. Just think, folks; these are our future leaders. Be afraid, be very afraid....

Ten tips on how to live in the New World Order. Having a sense of humor sure helps....

Five years later, the death of Jon Benet Ramsey remains a mystery. While her murder was, and remains, a tragedy, one question keeps coming to mind. How much of the attention drawn to this case was because she was a beautiful rich girl? Given the amount of TV time and column inches devoted to the case, would it have been any different if Jon Benet had been, say, black or hispanic??

How Houston's biggest newspaper is playing catch-up on the biggest story of the year: the fall of the House of Enron. I suppose this is what happens when hometown boosterism gets in the way of serious journalism.

For a guy who was supposed to be long since dead, Magic Johnson looks pretty good. Here's a story on what the poster boy for AIDS is up to these days.

Congress recently accepted it's third pay increase in the past four years. Over the past ten years, total Congressional pay is up 50%. Man, I am in the wrong damn line of work....

"People say I'm crazy." How ideas like "kitty running" make Robert Vervolet a man that may just be way ahead of his time. Our culture does not as a rule indulge inquisitive, eccentric intellects. Vervolet is both inquisitive and eccentric, but his ideas are beginning to make people think about why things are the way they are.... "If insects or other animals do something better than humans, we should mimic them....The future belongs to the efficient."

This, I suppose, can clearly be attributed to 9.11.01: "Soldier of Fortune" magazine has experienced an almost 40% increase in subscriptions. I suppose all those backyard warriors are wanting to bone up on their survival skills.


Wednesday 12.26.01

Happy Boxing Day, y'all. I hope Santa was good to you....

Here is another tidbit you can probably chalk up to 9.11.01: retailers are reporting an increase in Bible sales. It's certainly healthier than seeking solace with your good friends Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.

In a related story, here's a piece on how a 9.11.01 survivor's email message has touched many people from all around the world.

In the wake of 9.11.01, the American Red Cross did an admirable job of shooting itself in the foot. Deborah Sontag examines what happened that forced Dr. Bernadine Healy to resign, and why it turned into PR nightmare of biblical proportions.

Two Palestinian men, wrongfully accused of passport fraud, were jailed in Houston- one for more than two months. Now they are suing to recover their court costs. The government is fortunate that is all they are asking for. "I lost a lot of money for something I haven't done," Nacer Mustafa said Monday in a telephone interview from his Florida business. "What happened to me was a mistake." The U.S. Attorney's Office in Houston did not return calls. No surprise there....

Scenes from around New York City, pre- and post- 9.11.01.

Now that the war in Afghanistan is over, the real work begins: demining a country after 20+ years of almost constant war. International humanitarian aid agencies trying to help Afghanistan recover recognize this buried danger as the single most daunting barrier to the return of normal life here. Fields are too dangerous for farmers to plant the crops that could feed them, and the few orchards and vineyards that survived years of carpet-bombing contain forbidden fruit that could blast hundreds of people and animals to their deaths.

Reports out of Afghanistan are indicating that American Taliban fighter John Walker met with Osama bin-Laden. Details of the meeting were unclear, although they likely weren't discussing baseball.

Rumors are also swirling about the whereabouts of Osama bin-Laden. Some reports say he may have escaped to Pakistan, some that he may still be in hiding, and still others that he may have been killed in the massive US bombing campaign on Tora Bora. It will be interesting to see if the $25 million bounty on bin-Laden's head will have any impact on the search for him.

From the Height of Irony Department: Dignity Village may be forced to close due to behavior problems. The tent village, set up by the city of Portland so that they would have a place to shuffle the homeless off to, has proven to be a handful. I guess you really can't make the problem go away....

Michigan becomes a hot spot for identity theft. The holiday season is a particularly tough time for this sort of crime.

One of the hardest things to be in war is a member of the National Guard or Army Reserve. Being called up is a part of the deal, one that may mean leaving family behind for months. What is not often discussed is the effect this has on families and relationships. Being an ex-Reserve officer myself, I can relate to some of the tensions, though I was fortunate enough to never have been called up. These folks give up a lot to serve their country.


Tuesday 12.25.01 (Christmas Day)

After a bit more than three months of this website's existence, I've come to realize that there are a few people out there who are regular readers. Let me be the first to offer a heartfelt "thank you". I began this endeavor as a form of therapy; I never intended to develop an audience. That I have, of whatever size, is immensely gratifying. I hope that wherever you are, your Christmas is a peaceful and joyful one. I have much to be grateful for this Christmas, beginning with my wife and family. Their presence has made my life a much happier, richer, and more complete existence. Thanks to Susan, Adam, and Eric for allowing me to be a part of their lives. You mean more to me than I could ever find the words to express....

News you can use: the Homer Simpson Random Quote Generator....

Today mark's the 10th anniversary of the collapse of the Soviet Union, Ronald Reagan's "Evil Empire". Russians are becoming less and less nostalgic as they deal with the realities of their everyday lives. The Russian news media have paid little attention to the anniversary, and most ordinary Russians aren't even aware of it. When the last Soviet president, Mikhail Gorbachev, held a news conference last Friday to mark the event, he found himself addressing a half-empty room. Less than two dozen journalists bothered to attend, and many were visibly bored, chatting on their cellphones or slipping out of the room early as Mr. Gorbachev rambled on. Even before Christmas, 1991, the USSR had long ceased to be relevant, even to Russians. Ten years later, the challenge is still what it was then: how to create a country governed by the rule of law.

According to Lynne Cheney, wife of Vice-President Dick Cheney, her husband is "having a remarkable time". That's great, but if he is having such a wonderful time, why can't he come out of hiding and tell us himself?

There are times when I am proud to be an American, and then there are times like this.... After her lawyer and her congressman appealed to Attorney Genereal John Ashcroft, Vanessa Leggett will spend Christmas in jail. This even though she has committed no crime. When the government is able to determine who is a journalist and who is not, and then use their definition to attempt to intimidate an individual writer, what is left of our civil rights?

Now this would be an excellent Christmas present! A possible (and very wealthy buyer) appears for the Minnesota Twins, raising the possibility that my favorite baseball team may not go away after all. Let's hope that something positive can come out of this, and maybe Bud (Satan) Selig can go contract his own self....

It's like deja vu all over again. India and Pakistan go on high alert, rattling sabers at each other in the wake of last week's suicide attack on India's Parliament. It has been thus since 1947...different variations on the same theme.

"You've got (junk) mail!" Like anyone else, my email box is quickly becoming jammed with spam- mail I do no want, did not solicit, and will not read. Is spam an indicator of declining economic times, or just a serious threat to the utility of the Internet?

Airport security will now begin to focus on footwear. I shudder to think what will happen if someone tries to hide a bomb in their underwear...we'll all be flying naked??

The Shrub Administration becomes the bull in the international china shop. Is this any way to run a foreign policy?

William Safire on the threat posed by a national ID card. Is the next step to have microchips implanted in our butts, or is this just another tool in the war against terrorism?

Tom Daschle: "An obstructionist. A ruthless partisan. The man trying to wreck President Bush's agenda only so he can run against him in three years." Daschle is the man the Republicans love to hate. Well, I suppose everyone needs to demonize someone, and it beats the hell out of having to come up with a viable agenda of your own.

Dick Schaap was one of the best journalists of his generation, and a pioneer in the world of television sports journalism. David Halberstam, one of his contemporaries, takes a look at Schaap's life and work. Halberstam points out that one of the ingredients for Schaap's success was that he was a genuinely good person. Dick was dramatically different. He was not just talented but sensitive, and he had something which would serve him well for the rest of his career -- the gift of instant friendship. There are people in many fields who could learn something from the way Schaap treated people with dignity and respect.

Michigan takes a big step towards creating a zero-tolerance policy for domestice violence. A new law will give a person beaten by a boyfriend or girlfriend the same protections as someone beaten by a spouse or ex-spouse. Protections for victims of domestic violence have been available for years. But victims of dating violence have fallen through the cracks, experts say.

A new kind of abortion war. We were getting a bit tired of the old war....

Get a roll of stamps and mail it in.... This is why I'm quickly growing tired of sports. Maximum money, minimum effort, and we're expected to sit through this crap. Enough already....


Monday 12.24.01

I have been to Hell, and it looks a lot like a Sam's Club....

Breaking News: The death of freedom of speech.

You just knew this was bound to happen sometime.... Victims of the Oklahoma City bombing are feeling slighted because of the federal compensation program for victims of 9.11.01. While OKC survivors received an average of $100,000, 9.11.01 survivors will receive an average of $1.65 million. "They never offered us anything. Since we're stuck here in Oklahoma, our state representatives haven't done anything to help us." Once again, as it ever is in this country, it's all about the money. Stand back; I think I'm going to be ill.

It's been six months since Tropical Storm Allison inundated the Houston metropolitan area. Now, the experts are trying to determine the how and why. I can save y'all a lot of time and money here. It has something to do with too much rain, and no place for it to drain to.

Hail George, Conqueror of Evildoers. An open letter to Shrub from one of my heroes, Michael Moore. And how 'bout that Northern Alliance! Thanks to them, my weekly supply of heroin will finally be reinstated. Whoo-hoo -- and just in time for New Year's Rockin' Eve!

25 things we know post- 9.11.01. If you take this stuff at face value, it is more than a little disturbing. It would seem that conspiracy theorists are not just limited to the far right wing of the political spectrum.

A man tries to blow up his shoe, and the plane he was flying on. Just what we need to hear as the travel industry tries to get us back on airplanes again....

New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was named Time Magazine's Man of the Year. Can you think of anyone more deserving? I've never been a fan of Giuliani's politics, but it is hard to disrespect a man who kept a city together the way he did in the wake of 9.11.01. Well done!

Watching a nation deteriorate; an eyewitness account of events in Buenos Aires. What Argentina needs is a good war to take the minds of the populace off their economic woes. How 'bout they invade the Falklands?? No? It worked once before....

'Tis the season for giving, no?? A church in Tampa is faced with a moral dilemma: whether to accept more than 1,000 toys collected by strippers who flashed patrons at a local strip club. "We certainly don't stand for that at all," church spokeswoman Jennifer Mallan said. "We wouldn't condone anything that has to do with something offensive ... something that degrades women." A word to the wise: get over yourself. Their methods may be questionable, but their hearts are in the right place, which is more than I can say about your judgmental selves.


Sunday 12.23.01

Before everyone makes up their mind that American Taliban soldier John Walker is a traitor and deserves to be shot, let us remember a couple of things here. First, proving treason is a notoriously difficult challenge for any prosecutor. It requires the sworn testimony of at least two eyewitnesses attesting to the commission of a treasonous act or acts by the accused. Second, no one has any evidence that Walker took part in hostilities against US troops. Yes, he supported the Taliban cause, but being stupid, having the wrong friends, and being in the wrong place is not a crime- not yet, at least. Was he simply in the wrong place at the wrong time? Unlikely, but as yet no one can prove otherwise. Remember, it's called due process for a reason.

I realize that with all that is happening in the world these days, the question "Are they real??" is not exactly of Earth-shattering importance. Nevertheless, when a 19-year-old girl can make multimillions off what amount to soft-porn videos, it's not an unreasonable question. So, here is the undisputable visual evidence of Britney Spears' hydraulic overhaul. I feel dirty....

A Florida chiropractor trades drugs for sex. Well, it's probably easier than trading Big Macs for sex....

Conservative "patriots" declare ideological war on liberal academics. Free speech? Don't you know there is a war on?? This world would be a much better place if we just listened to Lynne Cheney.

In a creative effort to regain his freedom, Slobodan Milosevic has demanded his immediate release, saying his incarceration violates the European Convention on Human Rights. This from the "Butcher of the Balkans"? Since when did human rights become an issue for him? Oh, right; probably when he thought his own had been trashed. Senor Milosevic tiene cojones muy grande, no??

The front nine is OK, but you have to watch out for the sand trap on #10.... A proposed 27-hole golf course, with nine holes each in Cambodia, Laos, and Thailand is in an area infested with mines and booby traps. This sort of gives a whole new meaning to the term "out of bounds", eh??

I smell COMEBACK!!! Former President Clinton and his aides are making plans to extend the "permanent campaign" beyond his presidency. "It's important that the president's legacy not be squandered because his own people remain silent and scattered," said Bill Richardson, Mr. Clinton's energy secretary, who like many others took part through a telephone hookup. "It's important that the Democratic Party not turn away from Clinton's centrist legacy that brought us economic prosperity."

Now you can access the Seven Deadly Sins online. I LOVE technology....

You'd think that in Minnesota, a white Christmas would be a given. Apparently not this year, though. In a place that lives for winter, Old Man Winter seems to be taking his sweet time in arriving.

Mama, don't let your daughters grow up to date butchers....

Hi, My name is Jack. I'm an Aries. I enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach, good conversation, Russian literature, and twisting the heads off small animals....

Let us take a moment to honor the passing of Dick Schaap. In an era when sportswriters have become trite and disposable, Schaap was the last Renaissance Man. He treated people with dignity and respect, and was rewarded with lifelong friendship from many of his interview subjects. As comfortable reviewing Broadway plays as he was discussing the vagaries of sport, Schaap was truly one of a kind. He recognized that getting a story was not an "I win/you lose" proposition. He was fond of saying that he "collected people", and he did it in the right way, with dignity, class, and respect for others. His was a life well-lived, and he would have been the first to tell you that. Au revoir....

Breaking News: Hamas orders ends to anti-Israeli suicide bombings. A senior Hamas official says the decision was made so that Orthodox Jews would feel safe enough to come to the annual Hamas bake sale and ice cream social.

The World Bank announced this week that it is ready to step in and help the new Afghan government amass a staggering, unmanageable debt. In the words of one official, "We worked wonders in Argentina; there's no reason we couldn't do the same sort of thing here."

One of the truly impressive aspects of the Enron fiasco is the way that Enron alumni have stuck together. The support network they have fashioned has been a thing to behold, from message boards to websites to support groups to setting up charities. Fortunately, at least some ex-employees have retained their sense of humor: "I bear Ken Lay's two-headed love child, and he's not returning my calls. Am I the only one?"

The world's funniest joke. Remember, you saw it here first....

Danny Glover is being accused of being un-American for voicing the opinion that no one, not even Osama bin-Laden, should be given the death penalty. Right-wing talk show hosts are calling Glover "un-American", "unpatriotic", and "dangerous". Since when is voicing an opinion any of those things? I always thought that one of the beautiful things about America was that any of us have the inalienable right to voice our opinions, no matter how unpopular they may be. Dangerous, un-American, and un-patriotic. Hardly. Those right-wing nutcases might want to look at themselves before they start trashing people. Is their version of Amerika really what we are after? An Amerika where only official sanctioned or politically correct and sanitized opinions may be released into the public domain? Get over yourselves....

It has been fashionable for years to join the words "Arab" and "terrorist" at the hips. More easily forgotten is the rich history of Jewish terrorism. The very existence of Israel can be laid in large part to groups such as the Irgun and the Stern Gang. Britain didn't leave Palestine because it didn't like the food....

Another 1980's icon comes to the end of the road. Big Country's Stuart Adamson was found dead in a hotel room in Hawaii on 12.16.01, after dropping out of sight on 11.16.01. "Stuart was a good man who experienced breathtaking highs and desperate lows. I also know that he was deeply troubled, as it turns out, beyond my reach. It was an honor to make music with such a great Scottish artist, and to be his friend. I miss him.".

The Chuck & Hillary Show. How two ambitious solo acts managed to find a way to share the stage and funnel money back to New York recovery efforts.

How we got to where we are: why the Clinton Administration never succeeded in tracking down Osama bin-Laden.

Apparently, size does matter. The Fun Police, aka The US Golf Association, is considering placing size restrictions on the heads of golf club. Hey, if the technology allows it, why should the USGA be allowed to take away my God-given right to hit a tee shot 450 yards?

John Heitman and Amy Robson are like a lot of folks. They are engaged to be married next spring, and they are eagerly anticipating what the future may hold for them. There is one big difference, though; John and Amy are homeless.

When you start to ponder the vagaries of your miserable existence, this story should serve as a reality check. At least you're not trying to adopt a child in Cambodia.

Email as a contact sport....

What, Domino's couldn't get there in 30 minutes or less?

Today in History: A bomb exploded in a Pan Am Boeing 747 as it flew over Lockerbie, Scotland on 12.21.88, killing 270 people.

Breaking News: The economic stimulus bill was found dead in the House of Representatives this morning. Details are sketchy, but it appears the bill died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the rhetoric.

Sri Lanka's Tamil Tigers have announced a month-long cease-fire beginning on Christmas Eve. Or perhaps they have just run out of things to blow up and innocent civilians to kill and maim??

Unsafe at any price. If terrorists take out a nuclear power plant or two, guess who pays? We do, to the likely tune of hundreds of billions of dollars. By anyone's measuring stick, that's real money.

You know, we're starting to kinda like this whole war thing.... An ABC-Washington Post poll shows that Americans support expanding the war on terrorism to Iraq. Why not just make it a travelling road show? Afghanistan today, then Iraq, Somalia, North Dakota....

T & A on line two.... Now THIS is technology you can use!

I read in yesterday's Houston Chronicle that fans are tired of rich, spoiled professional athletes. "Fans think they're entitled to a piece of their teams and players and coaches, and we're in an era where players for whatever reason don't feel like making that entitlement happen. These are two trains that are on a collision course that can cause people to be unhappy." You know, there is really a very simple solution to this whole "problem". Stay home, turn off your TV, and spend some time with your family. Professional sports is like any other part of our market economy. If people find somewhere else to spend their dollars, then professional sports will be forced to make changes. It's called adapt or die. So, rather than calling sports talk radio shows and raging against the dying of the light, just opt out. Read a book. Take your family to a movie. Go to a high school basketball game. Enjoy life without professional sports, because, trust me, there is definitely more to life than the Michael Jordan watch.

For yet more on this sad subject, check out this week's Sports Illustrated magazine. The lead story is on my Portland Jailblazers, I mean Trailblazers, the NBA's equivalent of the Green Bay Packers. These morons (and I mean that in the best possible way- not) are posterboys for everything that is wrong with professional sports. The article read likes a primer on how to alienate a previously-rabid fan base. It's truly amazing what millions of dollars and a collective sense of entitlement can do to ruin a team's relationship with it's fans.

When soybeans dream of being meat. A guide to imitation meats.

Say what you will about college football and it's ranking system. Here is an interesting take on the top 25. Many complain that stories about college football read like raps sheets. This one actually is one. Check the graduation rates, too.

Hey, if you can't beat 'em, cheat 'em. The academic fraud within the University of Minnesota's basketball program started much earlier than previously feared. Now the university wants it's pound of flesh from former coach Clem Haskins.

In Queens, NY, an entrepreneur is worried he will be unable to sell 40,000 Osama bin-Laden urinal cakes. "A few months back, I couldn't make them fast enough. Now I can't get rid of the goddamn things."

Sue looks pretty good for someone who is 67 (million) years old. How does the old girl from South Dakota do it?

Katie Couric signed a contract with NBC News that is believed to be the largest in the history of television news. For a talking head? Get back to me when this sort of thing happens to someone who finds a cure for cancer or solves world hunger. Perhaps then I'll have a reason to get excited.

Conservatives want you to keep an eye on the American Muslim Council. Are they funding terrorism, or are they just guilty by association?

Harold Bloomfield, a nationally-known psychotherapist and self-help author, has been charged with sexual battery for allegedly drugging and sexually molesting seven of his female patients. Sounds as if someone has some issues to deal with here....

In a seemingly misguided attempt to cater to business customers, Northwest Airlines sends the message that everyone else will be treated as second-class citizens.

Finally a church for non-believers. Why let a little thing like God keep you from going to church? The members of Houston's Church of Freethought have no problems with organized religion. They just want to be allowed to practice their faith- or lack thereof- in peace.

On the topic of faith, I'll pass this one along without passing judgement, though this should by no means be taken as an endorsement. Big Tree News, "Serving the Body of Christ by providing a quick and trustworthy view on the events shaping our world". See it for yourself.

FDNY firefighters at Ground Zero announced yesterday that, 100 days after 9.11.01, they believe that all of the fires are finally extinguished....

Totalitarian chic. Ideology is now a marketable commodity, but then what isn't in our disposable culture? Urban Outfitters, purveyours of chic retro-ideological gear, can set you up w/ a Soviet soccer jersey or some vintage Guevara gear. I imagine that Nazi-era regalia was just too un-PC even for this hip set. Resistance is futile. You will be commodified. Attack us with ideology and we will sell it as nostalgia.

A small-town Connecticut mayor is guilty of thinking with the wrong head. This is the story of a politician who, in spite of chasing anything and everything in a skirt, still manages to make a nice career for himself, at least until corruption and child sex charges caught up with him.

And now, an answer to one of the burning questions of our times: In the wake of 9.11.01, what is sexy?

Santa runs afoul of Canadian anti-terrorism laws.

Operation Window Dressing, the travel industry's (and the feds) attempt to increase air travel, is little more than well, window dressing. I've heard stories from friends of security "issues" taken to absurd lengths by power-mad martinets who seem to revel in controlling at least some small corner of the world. The reality here is that airport security is not even about airport security. It's about creating the illusion that airlines are working to make flying safer- indeed, shutting the barn door after the horse is gone. The end result is to increase personal inconvenience and the invasion of privacy to almost intolerable levels, all in the name of "safety and security". Travelling by air has never been a particularly relaxing and enjoyable experience, but post-9.11.01 it has become truly a test of how much #%&@ a person is willing to put up with. Driving is beginning to sound better with each passing day. (thanks to Sean @ Liberal Arts Mafia)

In a rural Minnesota town, 8th-graders learn that freedom of speech is a nice concept, but one that really doesn't apply to them. Welcome to the Kafka-esque world that is junior high school.

Peacekeeping forces ready themselves for the trip into Afghanistan. Meanwhile, the US military's role as warkeepers continues unchallenged.

Former Enron employees told their stories to a Congressional subcommittee. Does anyone really think that anything of any value to these employees will come out of the hearings? It would be nice to think that Congress actually does have the best interest of these folks at heart. In reality, though, most Congressional hearings are like Bad Chinese Theater. Why put these folks through that sort of dog-and-pony show?

Mumia Abu-Jamal gets a new sentencing hearing, not the new trial he and his lawyers had been requesting. Let the fun begin....

For those of us who have piled on John Ashcroft about his "kill the patient in order to save him" approach to civil rights, there is another ambulatory threat afoot in Washington these days. Tom Ridge, Shrub's Czar of Homeland Security, has a spotty record of his own when it comes to protecting civil rights. Is this the legacy we want to leave our children?

In Portland, OR, an alert security guard breaks up a terrorist tai-chi cell. Thank God these folks weren't meditating. There's no telling how much damage they might have been able to do....

A motel in Chile that caters to those in search of sexual liasions has been criticized by the Catholic Church for putting up Christmas decorations: "Christmas is a time for the family and for traditional values which sex motels undermine....The spirit of this festival is completely the opposite to the spirit of a sex motel. Christmas shouldn't be hijacked in this way." A word to the wise here: GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!

A rogue mascot reveals the secrets of the trade. Hey, it's not easy wearing a larger-than-lifesize costume....


Wednesday 12.19.01

Judging by the amount of liquor and ammunition that was passed out by various Secret Santas at today's office Christmas party, I'm thinking it might be a good day to go home early....

Here it is: the long-anticipated US blacklist. After a few breathless moments, I was relieved to discover that my name was not on it- at least this time around. For more information on who is on the list, check this out.

Which civil liberties, and whose, can be curtailed to create a safer and more secure America? Why are we even considering this a suitable topic? Must we really reduce civil liberties in order to be safe? If so, where do we stop? Whose civil liberties are less important than our own? What criteria do we use to determine this? Yes, there are a lot of very uncomfortable questions, and some even more uncomfortable answers.

Teachings for tough times. Buddhists offer practice and perspective as a way to deal with the aftermath of 9.11.01. Suffering, like any other challenge in life, offers a window into our selves and our faith. May we use it to open the wisdom and compassion within us.

Is there a path out of paranoia? How do we learn to set aside the fear and insecurity created by the legacy of 9.11.01? Can we get back to what we had before, or will we as a society be left a jittery, fearful lot, seeing terrorism in every unfamiliar envelope or unattended briefcase?

What if women were in charge? Hey, it's not as if the male half of the population has much of a record to fall back on. Could women be more successful in preventing violent conflict, stopping war, and sustaining peace in fragile areas around the world? Isn't it about time we allowed them the opportunity to find out?

Not to rub salt in anyone's wounds, but my Portland Trailblazers came to town last night and laid a hurtin' on the hometown Rockets. The Rockets have now lost 14 in a row, a team record since moving to Houston in 1971. Not that the game was great theater; both teams are hobbled by injuries. It was like watching the sick beat up on the infirm. Yawn....

American Wahhabism is what happens when conservative Christian theocrats forget that the real meaning of religion- any religion- is peace, love, and understanding- not control, denial, and oppression. Modern American fundamentalism is rooted in the fear that someone, somewhere, is having fun, and it must be stopped. I find it truly sad that the words "Christian" and "fundamentalism" have become so intertwined, because fundamentalism has little to do with religion. It's the sound of a mind closing to anything but a very narrow, cheerless version of sprirituality. What a sad, joyless way to live one's life.

American drug policy is dependent on the demonization of drugs and those who sell them. While this policy has largely been an unqualified failure, the federal government has painted itself into a corner. While most of their allies have moved their anti-drug policies in a more humane, treatment-oriented direction, the feds refuse to change. Fearing the implicit admission of failure should they change policy, the feds are attempting to ratchet up the fear and intimidation in order to save face. Talk about being the prisoners of your own rhetoric....

New Orleans Saints and Cleveland Browns fans assist the NFL in taking a bold new stand on recycling. By throwing their plastic beer bottles on the field, they ensured that they would be separated from the rest of the trash, thereby easing the way for implementing the league's tough new recycling rules. The People's Republic of Seabrook salutes those fans in Cleveland and New Orleans who took a stand for recycling. If we had a football team, we would be proud to follow their example and toss our bottles on the field!

A Minneapolis police SWAT team storms a day care center. Perhaps the porridge really WAS too cold....

Now I really can say I've seen it all. Siena Heights University will be offering a course entitled "The Simpsons and Philosophy: The D'oh! of Homer". Needless to say, I would love to be able to take the course. College was never like this when I went to school....

After years of work, protests, and appeals, Mumia Abu-Jamal gets his death sentence thrown out. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania now has 180 days to conduct a new sentencing hearing.

Terrorist? Want to come to America to ply your trade? No problem, just as long as you remember to vote Republican.


Tuesday 12.18.01

Your whole professional life has been built on a foundations of lies. After 21 years, does it matter anymore? How long should one be held accountable? Is there a statute of limitation on dishonesty and deception? If you're George O'Leary, and you're the new head coach at Notre Dame, apparently the answer is no. Was this a case of "what goes around comes around"? Or just a few vindictive types in the media helping to bring down a good man so that they can feel better about themselves?

This was bound to happen sometime. The NY Fire Department is realizing that it needs to do something to manage and protect the "FDNY" brand, which since 9.11.01 has become a multi-million dollar entity. Most of what is out there now are knockoffs, which means that not a penny goes to the fire department. If you want the real thing, go to the FDNY Fire Zone.

Better a golden parachute than a golden shower, eh? Art Buchwald on the Enron fiasco....

Is the Conservative Christian Right the moral equivalent of the Taliban? I'm not making that argument (though I could), but there are many out there see more than a hint of evil in the Christian Right's push for political power. Their stated goal is to turn America into a Christian theocracy, which they believe was the oft-touted Founding Fathers' original intent. And then there's John Ashcroft....

Jerry Falwell once again flies off the handle, sending the reading on the old idiot-meter to near-record levels. To no one's surprise, conservatives have been struck mute. Interesting, isn't it, how they clam up when one of their own embarrasses their cause? Of course, having the moral courage to call Falwell an idiot and a bigot is something the conservative wing of the Republican Party has never had.

In these post 9.11.01, more security definitely seems like a good idea, right? For some, a national ID card sounds like a good way to keep "them" out. It's an idea that is getting seriously play in Congress, where pandering to the fears of the sheep, I mean the electorate, is a full-time occupation. To erstwhile liberal Rep. Dick Gephardt, "We are in a new world. This event will change the balance between freedom and security." Of course, how it will change that balance has not been laid out. To many, though, a national ID card is a bad idea, no matter what pretext is used to justify it.

Academic freedom and free speech under attack? In America? Hey, c'mon; there's a war on! Besides, Chairman Ashcroft says it's all in the defense of liberty, and who are we to question the government??

The top 666 clues that your holiday bonus has been cancelled.

It's official; some TV stations will do anything to increase ratings- even in Bulgaria. Hmmm, attractive, busty 19-23 year-old women, reading the news as they strip naked. Something tells me they're not playing to the bored-housewife demographic....

...note how vastly out of perspective hockey can sometimes become in Canada. The country is at war, the economy in collapse, a fresh budget under debate, leadership races on for the Official Opposition and the premiership of the largest province -- and yet where was the country's total attention span this weekend? In the basement of an old bank in downtown Toronto, where a retired hockey player and the names on the backs of red and white jerseys worn by 23 children were all that seemed to matter. Canada announces it's Olympic hockey team. In the Great White North, this is serious business, as Canada attempts to reclaim what it views as it's rightful place- on the gold medal stand. National honor demands nothing less.

Arab delegations to the UN are upset that the US vetoed a resolution calling for international monitors in the Middle East. How quickly, and conveniently, the Arabs forget the numerous occasions they have used the UN and it's resolution-making process to attempt to bludgeon Israel. What about the attempts they have previously made to use "international peacekeepers" as yet another way to place Israel in an untenable position? To say that Arabs are being disingenous here would be an understatement. Too many times have they played the "wolf in sheep's clothing"; how they expect to be taken seriously now is almost beyond imagination.

Trying to unring a bell. How headline writers made Portland out to be the bad guys in their faceoff with John Ashcroft's minions.

Alberta's Premier makes a strange, unannounced midnight visit to a homeless shelter after having a bit too much wine with dinner. What was he thinking??

Welcome to Sexey's School for Aspiring Porn Stars. An co-ed boarding school in England produces a calendar featuring several students in provocative poses, including one topless 16-year-old-girl. No wonder you never hear anyone in the porn industry complaining about not being able to find good help....


Monday 12.17.01

From textism.com, a recipe for Glace de Viande. Just what is it? Sticky goop in a jar that is a pleasure to have in the kitchen; unless you are a vegetarian, in which case you’re already going without pleasure. Why? Of course, because bouillon cubes are for the idle. I had no idea....

America vs. the world. From Liberal Arts Mafia.

New boss, same as the old boss.... Bobby Knight comes to Houston, and proves that he is still an asshole. In Knight's case, though, he can get away with it. Having already directly or indirectly raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for Texas Tech, there is no way anyone in Lubbock will kill the golden goose. In other words, Texas Tech sold their collective soul. They will continue to be embarrassed by Knight's churlish behavior, but will support him because they have to. You get what you pay for, I suppose....

Speaking of boorish behavior.... Ok, Browns fan, repeat after me: IT'S ONLY A GAME!! Thou shalt not throw beer bottles at the officials, no matter how angry (and drunk) you may be. Grow up!!

We're oppressed, and we LIKE it! Janis Besler Heaphy, president and publisher of The Sacramento Bee, was shouted down during a speech at CSU-Sacramento. Her crime? Mentioning the threats to civil liberties posed by the federal government's crackdown on terrorism. When Heaphy raised questions about racial profiling, military tribunals, and limitations on civil rights, the audience clapped and stomped their feet for five minutes. So much for freedom of speech, eh?

From ESPN's Ray Ratto: Gifts we'd love to see this Christmas. These should be on somebody's list.

Back home and on the road again. Janet Reno, who many had assumed would ride off into the sunset, politically speaking, is running for Governor of Florida- against incumbent Jeb Bush, brother of Shrub. This one ought to be interesting.

Only in New Orleans, could a fight between the founder of Popeye's Fried Chicken and a casino owner be news....

Long hours means more accomplished, right?? Not necessarily, as folks at the Great Harvest Bread Company demonstrate. We've lost in our culture this sense that business and work in general should be in service to our lives....You can't balance 70-hour workweeks with a good home life. In the weeks since 9.11.01, many Americans have found themselves re-examining their priorities. In doing this, they have come to realize that no one on their deathbed has ever said they should have spent more time in the office.

Today Afghanistan, tomorrow Sudan?

The Official Osama Sweepstakes. Here are the official "up to $25 million" promotion rules.

Here's $25, kid; now go play in the street.... Wal-Mart tries to make an accusation of sexual assault against a minor go away, and ends up with a lawsuit on it's hands.

Another great time waster: Strength Coach, from Julie at Digital Urbanite.

Yet another one: an A.I. song creator. You can have either a Christmas carol or Barry White-style.

In their latest policy making session, the Federal Reserve board this week dropped both the discount rate and acid at their annual two-day policy rave. Analysts are as yet uncertain what effect this will have on the economy.

Anti-American art? The FBI investigates a Houston art museum for exhibiting art that might have a dangerous political message. Oh, I'm sorry; art is supposed to uplift the downtrodden proletariat. A politically aware museum patron tipped off the FBI and Secret Service to the potentially subsersive display that might threaten President Bush. A Secret Service agent would say only, "In line with (Ashcroft's) directive that we would leave no stone unturned, all these calls are taken seriously and followed up." So, does this mean that I should take the "Gore/Lieberman 2000" bumper sticker off of my truck?

Michael Kinsley discusses forgetting Afghanistan and forgiving John Walker. Just because Walker was/is a member of the Taliban, does that give John Ashcroft the right to "make an example of him?" For what? When last I checked, stupidity, while regrettable, was still not a crime. Being on the wrong side may be a matter of poor choice, but it hardly constitutes criminal intent. Unless someone can find a law of war that Walker violated, which is very unlikely given that he was a rank-and-file soldier, the US should let him go. Let's at least hope that Walker will learn something from the experience, like an appreciation of how fortunate he is to enjoy the protections of US citizenship. His Pakistani and Arab friends will not be so lucky.

So there you have it: anyone who suspects John Ashcroft of being a nincompoop is patently supporting terrorism and also giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Unless your are unborn- "Ashcroft fully believes in the rights of the unborn. The born are on their own."

An internal security law that restricts liberties and presumes guilt? While this sounds like the US, this proposed law is actually from India, where it would give the government sweeping new powers. How long until John Ashcroft picks up on this one?

Speaking of John Ashcroft, and as one who missed no opportunity to chastise Bill Clinton for his lack of service in Vietnam, here is this tidbit. Apparently, Ashcroft was no stranger himself to the fine art of soliciting student deferments. He even went so far as to request an occupational deferment, which was intended for men who held "critical jobs". Ashcroft's "critical job"? Teaching business law to undergrads at SW Missouri State University, a job he lined up with the assistance of a family friend. Ah, to be rich, white, and well-connected. "Ashcroft spent the rest of the Vietnam War in Missouri, safe and sound. And quiet: Although Ashcroft was clearly eager to avoid going to Vietnam, he never protested the war. At least those people Ashcroft now brands traitors have the courage to voice their dissent. "

Bursts of automatic weapons fire isn't something most college students have to contend with. At South East European University in Tetovo, Macedonia, they are testing the theory that Albanians deserve to be educated in their own language- an idea that not all that long ago would have been cause for bloodshed. Nightly gunfire underscores the difficulty of the work they do, and classes end in early afternoon to beat the curfew. Says one student, "We don't think about the shootings. Everyone is used to it."

Yes, Virginia, there are other stories out there that don't involve war, terrorism, George Bush, John Ashcroft, or Osama bin-Laden. They just aren't nearly as compelling, at least according to the mainstream media. Here's what has been happening while you've been distracted.

The parents of a seven-year-old Minneapolis boy have sued the Boys & Girls Club of the Twin Cities. Apparently, their little angel was forced to lick a gymnasium floor because he entered the gym with gum or candy in his mouth. Even to me, this punishment seems a bit over the top. What would possess an adult to treat a child with such disregard? Personally, I hope the parents take them to the cleaners.


Saturday 12.15.01

Britain's Prince Charles attacks the "mine is bigger than yours" mindset of skyscraper architects. Saying that tall buildings are usually built to make a statement, the prince decried the trend towards ever-taller edifices as taking "commercial macho into the realms of adolescent lunacy". He also eloquently made the point that more attention needs to be paid to the needs of the community as opposed to industry. I'm beginning to like this guy....

Just when I was thinking there might still be life for the Minnesota Twins, baseball brings me back to earth. Negotiations between the Lords of Baseball and the player's union have broken down, meaning that once again there may be no joy in Mudville (or Minneapolis, in this case).

Let's see; you've lied about your qualifications, and you've padded your resume with nonexistent educational claims. If it were you or I, we'd be out on our butts, and justifiably so. However, if your Houstons' Metropolitan Transit Authority Chief Shirley DeLibero, you get an 8% raise to $237,600 from $220,000. The lesson here? The rich really are different, and really are held to different standards, particularly if you've been savvy enough to make friends in high places. The farther up the food chain, the more you are allowed to get away with. If DeLibero had been a middle-level manager, she would have been fired in a heartbeat. In fact, some middle-level managers have been fired during DeLibero's tenure at Metro for the same sort of resume-padding she was guilty of. Hypocritical? You bet. Unfortunately, because she is senior management, and has friends in high political places, she can get away with it. So much for equality....

Shirley DeLibero could teach George O'Leary a thing or two. O'Leary, hired as Notre Dame's new football coach a couple of days ago, resigned after it was revealed that his personal biography contained a "white lie". He claimed to have earned three football letters at the University of New Hampshire, while in fact he never played in a single game. O'Leary's statement said, "Due to a selfish and thoughtless act many years ago, I have personally embarrassed Notre Dame, its alumni and fans....The integrity and credibility of Notre Dame is impeccable, and with that in mind, I will resign my position as head football coach effective Dec. 13, 2001."

For the second straight year, executions were down. Texas even lost it's #1 status as the deadliest state to Oklahoma. If there is one thing people in this state detest, it's losing to Oklahoma- at anything. Of course, those of us who live in Harris County can take comfort in the fact that we sentence more people to death than any other county in the country. We really ARE #1!!!

Tribunals on trial. It is no trivial issue. If the United States is a country ruled by laws rather than by men, the president has a sacred duty not to violate core principles guaranteed in the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights. One of this country's greatest exports is the rule of law. Sure, it can be horribly inconvenient at times. When justice demanded is justice delayed, frustration is inevitable. The rule of law, however, is one of the pillars of our society. Take that away, and you have Russia, where justice can be, and too often is, bought and sold. Is that really what we want to pass on to our children?

I wondered how long it would take before this became an issue. More and more people are becoming uncomfortable with the patdowns required as part of airport security checks. While flying back from Raleigh, NC to Houston recently, I was on the receiving end, and I found it very offensive. A female security agent in the Raleigh airport conducted a very thorough and deliberate patdown- a little too much so, in my estimation. To say that I found this inappropriate would be an understatement. There are only two people I woule allow to touch me like that: my wife and my doctor. Why does increased security have to mean being forced to endure being felt up by airport security?

This is not a monarchy.... It's nice to see that Congress has some balls again.

Merry Christmas from the Boeing Corporation. Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out....

Who says being a police officer doesn't have it's perks? An officer from Norwich, CT is accused of making a woman remove her top and then photographing her- twice. Of course, the police officer involved should be hung out to dry, but what in the world was the woman thinking?? It would seem that both parties were not playing with a full deck.

And if that wasn't wierd enough, a dentist in Detroit has been accused of drugging a female patient and keeping her as a sex slave for a month. The woman told police that the dentist "had been injecting her with drugs twice a day to keep her incapacitated, then raping her at his apartment and his Farmington Hills dental office." This sounds like something out of "Little Shop of Horrors". And where was the woman's husbands during all of this?

An Oregon couple is trying to change a law that makes it illegal to harvest meat from roadkill. "The point is it made us mad. Here we have perfectly good meat sitting on the side of the road and you can’t touch it." Of course, it helps if you're hunting deer with an F-350....


Friday 12.14.01

It would be too easy to jump into the race to condemn Osama bin-Laden. How can one find the words to describe what it feels like to realize that you are staring at the smiling, jocular personification of evil? I will leave it to others to describe what they would like to do or see be done to bin-Laden. I just do not have the stomach for it. If you are interested in seeing the tape, you can find it at defenselink.mil.

This is what happens when a reporter turns into a parody of himself. Geraldo Rivera goes to war for the Fox News Channel, for reasons apparently known only to himself.

The State of Texas has lowered the speed limit in the eight-county Houston area from 70 to 55 in a (misguided) effort to reduce air pollution. Does anyone honestly think that this is going to convince Texans to given up their God-given right to speed and drive aggressively? Reducing the speed limit comes (of course) with no increase in troopers to enforce it. So how do they plan on convincing lead-foot Texans to fall into line? Now, when the state begins to address the issue of emissions from grandfathered refineries and chemical plants, perhaps then I'll begin to take the problem seriously. Until then, 70 sounds pretty good to me.

Is it possible to play too much golf? Even if you're Tiger Woods, and you get paid handsomely to play all over the world? I could use this sort of problem....

One columnist's opinion that the nation and the President deserve better than John Ashcroft. It's a point of view I find difficult to argue with. Ashcroft's "we must kill the patient to save it" view of civil liberties is a truly frightening view of our world. Why are we left with the Alice in Wonderland predicament of removing civil liberties in order to protect them?

Winona Ryder was busted for shoplifting and drug possession. While I'm trying to be compassionate towards someone who clearly is in need of help, why do we need to hear about it when a celebrity messes up? As a culture, are we that shallow that we need to hear about someone falling off a pedestal in order for us to feel good about ourselves?

A savior for the Minnesota Twins? A businessman from Alabama, looking to become baseball's first black owner, says he will build the Twins a stadium with a retractable roof. The fact that Donald Watkins is worth $1.5 billion doesn't hurt, either.

Microsoft's new television venture will allow advertisers to monitor what viewers are watching. If you think about it, there is something vaguely disconcerting about your behavior being observed and monitored by household appliances. Creepy....

Congress forbids economic recovery until it is able to pass legislation to help it recover. Say what??

And here at the University of Colorado, we have a long-standing tradition of...sexual assault?? CU football players and high-school recruits join in the fun, and gang-rape a female student. How long will it take for someone to trot out the tired old "boys will be boys" excuse??

Should you be scared of these kids? Life inside Portland's private Muslim academy. How a school goes from a place of learning to a terrorist training center, all during the duration of one talk radio show.

Stuck local? Read global.

In a shocking state of affairs, attendees at a bake sale in rural Alabama were reported to have committed all seven deadly sins.

Senator John Kerry offers "A Better Definition of Patriotism".

Flooding in Houston and the surrounding areas is no small issue. Anyone who suffered the wrath of Tropical Storm Allison can attest to that. The Harris County Flood Control District is charged with managing and minimizing the destructiveness of floods. Is the HCFCD just telling us stories in order to pacify the populace so that developers may continue to build and build and build some more?

"Its former leaders are in seclusion, protected by elite bodyguards and high-tech security systems. Only a hard-core band of followers continues to staff its shattered shell, as a chorus of condemnation around the world denounces unethical strategies that wreaked havoc on tens of thousands of unsuspecting citizens." Going after the Taliban...I mean, Enron. Lawyers are the new heroes in this war against corporate terrorists. "If it was just getting fired, that would be one thing. And if it was just losing money in the stock market like a bunch of people have done this year, that would be another thing. It's like getting cut off at the head and feet at the same time. You're just left with the torso."

Robert Scheer makes the argument that Enron is to Bush as Whitewater was to Clinton. Of course, Bush's connection to Enron will likely never be investigated, since Republicans still occupy the positions of power in Congress necessary to initiate such and investigation. "That Lay was instrumental in Bush's rise to the presidency is indisputable. Since 1993, Lay and top Enron executives donated nearly $2 million to Bush. Lay also personally donated $326,000 in soft money to the Republican Party in the three years prior to Bush's presidential bid, and he was one of the Republican "pioneers" who raised $100,000 in smaller contributions for Bush. Lay's wife donated $100,000 for inauguration festivities. As governor, Bush did what Enron wanted, cutting taxes and deregulating utilities. The deregulation ideology, which George W. long had adopted as gospel, allowed dubious bookkeeping and other acts of chicanery that shocked Wall Street and drove a $60-billion company, seventh on the Fortune 500 list, into bankruptcy." Who says money and politics don't mix??

How much will it cost to make New York City whole again? Can money alone repair the damage? In the long run, of course, it will take money- a lot of money- but it will also take much more.

People come to America for many reasons. Seldom do they ever have reason to suspect that their national origin and the color of their skin would make them "enemies of the state until proven innocent." Welcome to John Ashcroft's America, y'all....


Thursday 12.13.01

(Ho, freakin' ho...thanks again, Beamers!!) MEMO: To All PC Industries Employees

Subject: Xmas Party ------------------------------------------------------
December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis== Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------
December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis ==Human Resources Director

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December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-- no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis ==Human Researchers Director

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December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now? Patty Lewis ==Human Racehorses Director

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December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis==Human Ratraces

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December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. In fact, I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

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December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

A NY Times/CBS News poll shows that most Americans are willing to give the government the latitude they feel is necessary to pursue suspected terrorists. They are worried about the impact on civil liberties, though. That surprises me, because, in my humble opinion, most Americans are sheep, and will believe whatever it is government tells them, particularly when they feel threatened.

The war may be over, but the only thing ruling Kabul these days is hunger.

Dianne Feinstein's letter to Joe Lieberman requesting a Senate investigation of Enron.

Wednesday 12.12.01

Dear Saudi Arabia: Yes, we have problems. We covered your butt during the Gulf War, and yet you do little to counter hatred of the US preached by Saudi fundamentalists. It's true that 15 of the 19 9.11.01 hijackers were Saudi nationals. This is unacceptable, given the level of financial, military, and moral support that you receive from the US. Not that you'll actually DO anything about this problem, of course....

The first Web page created in the US turns 10 today. The page was posted by Stanford University physicist Paul Kunz. It consisted of three lines of text, an email link, and a link to a huge database. Amazing how many pages still look like that one, isn't it??

Working the graveyard shift in Hell. Recovery work at Ground Zero is a 24/7 job, and those who work the night shift have it doubly difficult.

Here are the perspectives of several political cartoonists, each with their own take on the Enron fiasco.

Apparently, a lot of people have gotten themselves all worked up over the possibility that Osama bin-Laden may be chosen as Time magazine's "Man of the Year." Understandably, there are some pretty strong emotions out there on this one. Why would Time even consider such a public relations nightmare? I'm all for aggravating people if it makes them think, but this seems like a bad idea all the way around. It will be interesting to see how this plays out when the "winner" is announced on 12.22.01.

Nothing says "Happy Hannukah" like a restraining order, eh?? You can just light your candles in your own damn apartment from now on....

In the debate over the roots of terrorism, it is easy to miss the simple things. Repressive regimes tend to spawn resistance, but because of the nature of political life within the regime, that resistance needs to be focused. Egypt and Saudi Arabia have been particularly effective at fostering hatred towards the US as a means to deflect attention from their own internal shortcomings. Egypt receives $1.2 billion each year in foreign aid. Saudi Arabia also benefits in many ways from American largesse. We are not a wicked nation but, as long as we subsidize this fated cycle, we are a stupid one.

You just can't make this sort of thing up! Apparently tired of trampling Constitutional rights, Shrub has declared this week to be a national "Human Rights Week." Attempting to rationalize his "we must kill the patient in order to save it" logic, Shrub said ``The heinous acts of terrorism committed on Sept. 11 were an attack against civilization itself, and they have caused the world to join together in a coalition that is now waging war on terrorism and defending international human rights." Reporters present noted that Shrub somehow managed to say that while keeping a straight face.

Enron's new Twelve Days Revised Policy (thanks, Beamers!!):

Effective immediately, the following economizing measures are being implemented in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

1) The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecasted, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

2) Two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated.

3) The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.

4) The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

5) The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, appear to be in order.

6) The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that, from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one.

7) The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. The function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their outplacement.

8) As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

9) Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

10) Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

11) Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music, and no uniforms, will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line.

Overall, we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), a decision is pending.

Deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to remain competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

Ok, I'll admit it; I know nothing about accounting. I can't even balance a checkbook (isn't that why we have ATMs?). Most people may not be as financially inept as I am, but I think most people have difficulty in understanding and following advanced coporate accounting concepts. Enron's creative accounting practices should serve as a warning to the accounting-challenged among us. How can we demand accountability (no pun intended) if those charged with keeping the books are trying to stay one step ahead? "Accounting is an area that most people are more than happy to leave to the experts. But it's also an area that can affect people's lives directly. Just ask everyone who has now lost money on Enron. The light of public scrutiny needs to shine there."

Once again, Slobo doesn't play well with others. Slobodan Milosevic, the "Butcher of the Balkans", once again refuses to enter a plea at his genocide trial in The Hague. Accoring to Milosevic, "This miserable text is the ultimate absurdity. I should be given credit for peace in Bosnia, not war....The responsibility for the war in Bosnia lies with the (Western) powers and their agents, not in Bosnia and not with Serbs, Serb people or Serb policy." I see; so all those thousands of Croats, Muslims, and Albanians who died on your watch were simply the unfortunate victims of an unjust war orchestrated by the West in order that you could be framed? As rationalizations go, this one is world-class....

Any war is full of tragic and poignant stories. Afghanistan is certainly no different. This story is about how two Americans came to cross paths in an Afghan prison only moments before a violent and bloody uprising took place. One, John Walker Lindh, took a circuitous route to his destination, eventually joining the Taliban, only to be wounded and captured by American troops. The other, John Michael Spann, became a CIA officer. Shortly before he was killed in the prison uprising, Spann interviewed Walker; one fighting for his country, the other seemingly against it. Sadly, only Walker lived to tell about the encounter.


Tuesday 12.11.01

Call now! Kate Moss' underwear could be yours!!

Have you ever wondered what happens to all that stuff that gets confiscated at airport security checkpoints? Me, neither....

Excuse me; where can I find those cute little Zen gardens that are supposed to be on sale this weekend?? Madison Avenue brings peace and enlightenment to your local Albertson's. "So what I want to know is, with Harmony in my cart and Poise in my hand, who stuck their Zen in my peanut butter?"

New marketing slogans for the Norwegian Tourist Bureau:

1) We're more than just a suburb of Sweden!!!
2) Millions of elk can't be wrong!!!
3) Tall, blond, and Helga!!!
4) We're way more fun than Finland!!!
5) We do SO have hockey players!!!
6) Lutefisk: It's a dessert topping and a floor wax!!!
7) Our Vikings can beat your Vikings!!!
8) A fjord beats a Chevy any day!!!
9) Norwegian pitchers always have an extra pitch to go to- the fish ball!!!

Let's see; you run a business that doesn't make a lot of money. You manage the business so it lives within it's means. While other people fly and stay in Marriotts, your people drive and pair up in a Motel 6. You require employees to stay within the minutes allotted on their cellphone calling plans. Though other companies pay huge salaries to attract people, you stay within your budget and still manage to attract people who remain loyal. You work hard at attracting employees who are looking for an opportunity to succeed, and have generally been successful, particularly this year. Your company was voted the best in the business last year, and you are respected throughout the industry for running a tight ship and doing things right. Unfortunately, because you are the Minnesota Twins, none of that matters. Precisely because you have chosen to live within your means, you no longer are the type of team that baseball wants. Yo, Bud; you could learn a lot from a dummy....

Satan still doesn't get it, and likely won't until people stop going to baseball games. If baseball is in such sorry shape, how can teams keep throwing multi-million dollar long-term contracts at free agents? "If baseball is really such a great buy, why are Fox and Disney trying to get out?" Why do the New York Yankees embark on their annual quest to buy themselves a championship? If business is so bad, you'd think the Lords of Baseball would take it upon themselves to fix the problem. Instead, they prove why denial is more than a river in Egypt. Yes, they seem to say, we have a problem, but it is the paying public's responsibility to fix it. Satan "is the same man who recently was given a three-year contract extension to stay on in a job that, to hear Selig tell it, has been no more than a steady descent into financial hell for as long as he has held the post. Which makes you wonder how a guy gets fired." Indeed....

Texas Republican Congressman Dick Armey, self-anointed spokesman for reactionary and bigoted xenophobes everywhere and revered for his devotion to "I got mine" policies that Republicans adore, is rumored to be about to make an announcement concerning his political future. With Pat Robertson exiting the political landscape, there is certainly a void to be filled. Armey is one of a select few mean-spirited and reactionary enough to ably fill Robertson's shoes. Armey once told a Democratic house colleague that "Your president is just not that important to us." Armey's leaving Congress would leave the rabid ignoramus wing of the Republican party in the able hands of fellow Texas Republican and good ol' boy Tom DeLay.

Big time college football. Now there is a contrdiction in terms. It's big time only if you understand that it is all about the Benjamins. ESPN's Chris Fowler examines the travesty that is the BCS. "It's hard to imagine a worse scenario from the BCS standpoint -- a team that did not win a division title, let alone a conference title, coming off its worst defensive performance in history, losing 62-36 to the team ranked just ahead of them in both polls, gets the formula's verdict by five-hundreths of a point. Five-hundreths of a BCS point outweighs 26 points on the field. It's a perfect statement about what's wrong."

Molly Ivins weighs in on the Enron fiasco. Hey, is "financializing" even a word??

Not very often will you find me in agreement with a conservative columnist, particularly one from the Cato Institute, which is generally just to the left of the John Birch Society. Here, though, is an article from Daniel Griswold, assistant director of trade policy studies: Don't Blame Immigrants for Terrorism.

The man who screwed the world. Et tu, Ken Lay??

Ethical work in a bottom-line time. What does it take to have a job that elicits one's passions and also benefits society, particularly in today's economy?

I know; you've been looking everywhere for your grandma's latke recipe. Well, fret no more, because I've found it.

Do the Holidays make you panic? No, but they do make me sort of melancholy....

What to do with Afghanistan's lost generation? Afghanistan's children have grown without peace and security. Many now face the reality of having to work to support families. Now that peace has arrived, they dream of making better lives, which requires education. How to provide that crucial education becomes the test for Afghanistan's new government and Western aid agencies.

I am in the wrong damn line of work.... The prestigious Turner Prize for contemporary art was presented to an artist who created an empty room (no joke...). I can almost hear the reactions of the other contestants: "I went to four years of art school, and I lose to a $&^#!)@ empty room?!?"

Remember, kids- Porky's was only a movie! A teacher in Massachusetts is busted for videotaping female students as they changed clothes for sporting events and drama performances. Creepy....


Monday 12.10.01

Kenneth Branagh, one of my favorite actors, suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and turns 41 today. Unfortunately, our age and the fact that we're both still ambulatory seem to be about all we have in common.

Breaking news: Naked Greek athletes invade Houston!! The Olympic torch comes to Houston today, and women will be streaming out of their homes and offices to catch a glimpse of well-endowed Greek torch bearers. Opa!!!

One our great states elected representatives has threatened the Portland Police with a congressional investigation unless they comply with the Justice Department's edict. Never mind that the request has been determined to constitute racial profiling, which is illegal under Oregon state law. Which congressional committee is Lamar Smith head of? Could it be the House Un-American Activities Committee?? Rumors are swirling around Capitol Hill that Smith still has a picture of Sen. Joseph McCarthy hanging on his office wall.

A better golf ball?? Now THIS is news I can use....

The Buddhas of Bamian were what captued international attention last spring, but there is much more to the story. When the Taliban blew up the centuries-old statues, it prompted an international outcry. What somehow escaped attention was the devastation wrought on the people of the area by the mostly Pashtun Taliban. The Hazaras of the Bamian region paid a terrible price at the hands of the Taliban, yet there were no front-page stories written about the human toll. "In the end, the Taliban turned out to be not just religious zealots but relentless conquerors....One hundred years ago, the Pashtun emir Abdul Rahman made the massacre of Hazaras a central element of his autocratic rule. He was not only offended by their independence but also by their religion. The emir was a Sunni Muslim while the Hazaras were Shiites. He labeled them infidels.... In 1998, during the conquest of Mazar-i- Sharif, the Taliban-appointed governor converted his religious prejudices into an ungodly massacre. Thousands of Hazaras were murdered, often in ghastly fashion, their bodies then treated with additional contempt. Hundreds more were crammed into shipping containers that were placed in the sun to bake. Nearly all suffocated. To some Pashtuns, the killing was a fitting reply to a previous massacre in which the role of villain was reversed. Hazaras have committed their own atrocities. Some have nailed spikes through their enemies. Others have used beheadings as entertainment." Sound familiar?? Change the names of the tribes, and it could be Somalia, Bosnia, Kosovo....

Pat Robertson's retirement as head of the Christian Coalition may be the best thing that could happen to conservative Christians. For too long, Robertson's off-the-wall views and vitriolic diatribes have clearly been outside the mainstream, and have served to make him and those like him laughing stocks. It has been difficult to take Christians in public life seriously when they have been represented by people such as Robertson and Jerry Falwell. Perhaps now Christians will be able to assume a more reasonable and lucid place in the public consciousness.

Myth, truth, and reality collide: sifting through the debris of the World Trade Center. "September 11, nearly three months gone, is now a shared American narrative, a communal myth, based largely on fact, that tries to make sense of what seems unexplainable. A cast of everyday heroes. Pure good versus satanic evil. Common purpose and resolve. The myth comes wrapped in a neat package and is sold on the street. The coffee table photo books rushed for Christmas sales, the flag lapel pins, the tourists buying their FDNY caps in Times Square, these are for the outside consumers of legend. But those on the inside know harder truths that accompany and at times collide with the myth."

Al-Qaeda's Terrorist's Guide to the West. It's not exactly a Fodor's guide, but it does seem to have everything the self-respecting terrorist would want to know about living with infidels. Remember, men use cologne; women use perfume. Get the two mixed up, and you're in big trouble- unless you enjoy hanging out in gay bars....

Bud Selig, you are not welcome here. Begone, ye evil spawn of the Devil! Satan has been banished from Inglis, FL: "Be it known from this day forward that Satan, ruler of darkness, giver of evil, destroyer of what is good and just, is not now, nor ever again will be, a part of this town of Inglis. Satan is hereby declared powerless, no longer ruling over, nor influencing, our citizens". It looks like Bud will have to spend his winters elsewhere....

Dude, you are SO busted.... Two Turkish government officials are filmed taking bribes on live TV. It's going to be tough to talk your way out of this one.

Examining the rise and fall of the House of Enron. Did the culture of Houston's most powerful company contribute to it's ultimate demise? "The Enron way was to be brash, and there was an arrogance about it. The culture was to push everything to the edge."

The problem with this country is that there is nowhere you can go just to have casual sex anymore....

One man's struggle with drug addiction. The only difference is that this person is a well-known professional athlete, and we get the "benefit" of seeing his pain, weakness, and fall from grace play out in public.

Diversity comes to the Whitest Place in America. Diversity comes to Fargo-Moorhead. With refugee population of only 6%, don't come to F-M looking for Chinatown, but the non-white population is growing. Read about how this has impacted a previously very homogenous community.

As American as Chicken Tandoori....

An Australian columnist is investigated for anti-Americanism. Hello; this is a joke, isn't it??

Ditch the witch.... A Republican state legislator in Wisconsin proves that three of the party's planks are (1)bigotry, (2)intolerance, and (3)fearing things you haven't taken the time to understand.

Friends don't let friends use PowerPoint (from Metafilter)....

Let's see here; Colorado beats Nebraska 62-36, but Nebraska still gets to play Miami for the national championship? Some has some 'splainin' to do, and fast....


Sunday 12.9.01

Will someone please tell Paula Zahn to just shut the hell up???

Molly Ivins (one of my heroes) raises this point as a logical extreme: if John Ashcroft has his way, we are all suspects. If criticism becomes reason for suspicion, then (as much as I hate to say this) the terrorists really have won. "In this fight for our cherished freedoms, those cherished freedoms should definitely be the first thing to go. Sieg heil, y'all."

If questioning our leaders' competence at a time of war is treason, take me to the nearest military tribunal. In times like this, when criticizing the government is perceived to border on treason, are we missing the obvious questions? Frank Rich wonders why, if we are indeed at war, that our internal security measures are so inept? Why are we questioning 5,000 men of Middle Eastern descent why you or I could check a bomb curbside with little or no effort? Could it be that all of the smoke and mirrors are designed to created the perception (illusion?) of safety? How else to prop up the airline industry? People will not travel if they don't FEEL safe, no?? McCarthyism isn't dead; it's just wearing sheep's clothing.

Note to self: steer clear of masturbating Mexicans. Performance art just isn't what it used to be, and one Canadian MP is not happy about it. Of course, this is the same government that supported rotting rabbits and a meat dress. Can you imagine the fit social conservatives in this country would pitch? As much as I detest their narrow-minded bigotry, it would be tough to argue with them on this one. I think I'd just concede the point and move on....

Let's see, we have dot-coms circling the drain, the highest unemployment rate in the nation, a record number of bankruptcies, and holes in government budgets you could sail the QEII through. What's more, economists say things are only going to get worse. So, grab a stiff drink, Seattle, and hold on for the ride. Oh, we'll all go together when we go....

Unless you pledge blind, unwavering support to Shrub's war against evil, your opinion doesn't matter- really. "As veils are lifted in Afghanistan, the veil in America gets tighter. Even America's second lady, Lynne Cheney, is making the rounds encouraging college 'elitists' to cool the critical rhetoric and acknowledge and declare that they are outside the mainstream, i.e., admit your opinion doesn't matter." The lesson is not unlike what your mother always said- if you can't say anything nice about the government, don't say anything at all. Loose lips, so the saying goes, sinks ships....

Sometimes, life is just hard. Friends die, relatives fall ill, you lose your job or your marriage or...even if you're a well-paid professional hockey player. "It doesn't matter how much money you make or what your job is, there are things in life we all have to go through, and they aren't easy for anybody."

It's the stimulus package, stupid! As far as anyone can tell, it's about Congress finding a way to feel good about themselves as they leave for the Christmas break....

Enduring Freedom Trading Cards. Collect them, trade them, track the evildoers as we bring them to ultimate justice....

Donald Rumsfeld