Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial
reasons.
- Bertrand Russell
Just out of curiosity, have any of y'all noticed ANYONE in the Houston area driving 55? I sure as hell haven't....
Get a roll of stamps and mail it in....
Philadelphia Phillies 3, Houston Astros 1. If you or I showed up at work and turned in an effort like that, we'd be collecting unemployment. Wait...I AM collecting unemployment....
From the Historical Darwin Awards
Holy Roman Emperor Frederick I embarked on the 3rd Crusade to recapture the Holy Land in the twelfth century. After spending days trudging across the dry summer desert, his army came upon the River Saleph. In his parched state, Frederick threw caution to the wind -- instead of his heavy armor -- and plunged into the river, whereupon he sank to the bottom and drowned.And THAT, kids, is why you should take swimming lessons....
Blogging goes corporate. Is this a good thing?? (Fred Lapides)
You mean we're NOT going to flambe him on the Aggie Bonfire??
Former FBI agent Robert Hanssen, who sold US secrets to Moscow for a total of $1.4 million in cash and diamonds, has been sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Thankfully, Hanssen will never again be a free man, but the questions raised by his case still remain largely unanswered. How could a person in Hanssen's position have been allowed to operate with such impunity?Perhaps the only thing that spared Hanssen's life is his willingness to share what he did and how he did it. Armed with that knowledge, authorities will hopefully be able to prevent this sort of tragedy from happening in the future. Of course, that doesn't mean they will be able to prevent everything. The hole that Hanssen exploited may be plugged, but others will likely be exposed as time goes by. Such is the nature of the beast.
"Exceptionally grave" is how U.S. officials first described the damage Hanssen did before they knew the depth of his betrayal. Now, some analysts call Hanssen the most damaging spy in U.S. history. Hanssen was arrested February 18, 2001, at a Virginia park minutes after he allegedly left a package under a wooden footbridge. Investigators say the bridge was a drop site for delivering documents to his Russian handlers.Talk about giving away the keys to the kingdom....While his neighbors and colleagues knew him as a quiet family man and hard-working FBI agent, Hanssen was sneaking classified documents out of the bureau and slipping them to Soviet and Russian agents without revealing his identity. Hanssen, a 25-year FBI veteran, was the bureau's liaison to the State Department Office of Foreign Missions (OFM) and was primarily responsible for keeping track of intelligence agents assigned to work in the United States "under diplomatic auspices."
"He was a key player here," one department official told CNN. "He was able to move around the building easily." Hanssen had also been the FBI's liaison to State's Bureau of Intelligence and Research -- the office from which a highly classified laptop disappeared.
Investigators have accused the spy of compromising dozens of Soviet personnel who were working for the United States, some of whom were executed. He shared details of several U.S. technical operations such as eavesdropping, surveillance and interception of communications. And he gave the Soviets the U.S. plans of how it would react to a Soviet nuclear attack, both in protecting top government officials and retaliating against such an attack.
So much for having a childhood....
One of the saddest aspects of the wave of Palestinian suicide bombings is the increasing involvement of children. Having an almost 15-year-old stepson myself, I cannot imagine Eric strapping pipe bombs to his body, strolling into a pizzeria, and pushing the detonator. To me, it says a lot about the state of despair that Palestinians find themselves in. How else could you reconcile not only allowing but condoning the self-immolation of teenagers?Three 15-year-old Palestinian boys walked together along dusty streets leading to the southern edge of Gaza City. They passed a rusting amusement park, closed and forlorn, and entered a field just inland from the sunny Mediterranean. From there, it was only a short dash to the violent death they had resolved to embrace.Finally, it seems that some in the Palestinian community are beginning to question the wisdom (if not the sanity) of using children as human bombs. Even Hamas, which has organized and carried out dozens of suicide attacks, has come out against the use of children.Within minutes, parents and Palestinian authorities recalled, Israeli soldiers guarding the nearby Netzarim settlement opened fire on the advancing boys with a .50-caliber machine gun. The three classmates, who had competed for top honors at Salahuddin School here, were killed on the spot. They were armed with a crude pipe bomb and some knives, and they never got near the Jewish settlers who were their targets.
Since the deaths of the Palestinian youths at Netzarim, more than a dozen other boys or groups of boys have been discovered and prevented from carrying out plans to launch similar attacks on their own, according to Ismail Abu Shenab, a senior Hamas political leader, and Rashid Abu Shbak, the second-ranking Preventive Security officer in the Gaza Strip. "It was a shock for everybody," Abu Shenab said in an interview. "It was a strange and new phenomenon that needed to be discussed. Boys are prohibited from participating in operations like this, because they are boys. In Islam, boys are innocent and shouldn't be part of this work."Of course, the reason that Hamas forbade children from becoming martyrs is a purely political calculation. They've discovered that the use of children to carry out suicide bombings surpasses even what Palestinians are willing to condone. This makes me wonder what will happen if their struggle against Israel continues to go poorly. Will Hamas and other groups at some point give in to the temptation to use children? They've shown few moral boundaries previously, so expecting them to stick to their ban on using children would seem to be a recipe for disappointment. As long as "martyrdom" is glorified within the Palestinian community, children will want to be a part of it. If Hamas and others will not facilitate it, the children will likely take things into their own hands. It's already happened, with deadly results.
Operation Infinite Purity...
In an effort to preserve "all that is decent" in America, Shrub has unveiled an ambitious new program designed to eradicate masturbation in the US by 2005.The Problem: Masturbation is more dangerous than atheism. Doctors of a generation ago knew this, but over the course of recent Democratic administrations, and their prevailing philosophy of "if it feels good, do it" - this problem has spiralled out of control....Didn't you just know that it would only be a matter of time before someone found a way to blame liberals for the wave of teenage boys spanking their monkeys? Well, at least we didn't bomb Afghanistan into the Stone Age now, did we??The Plan of Attack: How to stop the current epidemic of Democrat-approved self-abuse in America? We will employ precisely the same tactics, legislation, and get-tough attitude that has been so successful in the War On Drugs....
Zero Tolerance: Just as police departments seize the cars and homes of people who are caught with drugs, Operation Infinite Purity calls for the homes and SUVs of people caught masturbating to be taken away without due process and auctioned off, with all proceeds going to augmenting similar anti-masturbation law enforcement.
Be afraid...be very afraid....
"Outraged? I'm barely surprised. This is a country where women aren't allowed to drive a car. They're not allowed to be in the company of any man other than a close relative. They're required to adhere to a dress code that would make a Maryknoll nun look like Malibu Barbie. They beheaded 121 people last year for robbery, rape, and drug trafficking. They have no free press, no elected government, no political parties, and the royal family allows the religious police to travel in groups of six, carrying nightsticks, and they freely and publicly beat women. But Brutus is an honorable man.Seventeen schoolgirls were forced to burn alive because they weren't wearing the proper clothing. Am I outraged? No, Steve, no Chris, no Mark. That is Saudi Arabia, our partners in peace."
- C.J. Craig, "West Wing" (Photodude)
I have been taken to task for my frequent blanket ridiculing of Conservative Republicans. Fair enough. Though they all too often are easy targets, I think I'll endeavor to limit myself to ridiculing individual Republican Wing-Nuts. Lord knows there is no shortage of those types in this state (Tom DeLay, Phil Gramm, Shrub) and nationally (Jesse Helms, Trent Lott, Bob Dornan). This should not be considered a concession, Mr. McDoolihan (being a Liberal means never having to say you're sorry), but I will grant you that spending less time on my soap box pontificating is probably a good thing.
PS- The comments are history. Judging from the complete lack of response, I'm guessing they won't be missed....
As always, the civilians suffer most....
Nearly 3,500 Nepalis have been killed over the past six years, the result of a brutal Maoist rebellion. Half of those killed have died during the past four months alone. Because of the remote location of Nepal and the Nepali governments declared state of emergency, few journalists have been able to cover the rebellion. The stories behind the death counts and atrocities against civilians remain largely untold.The Nepalese Army arrived last Wednesday before dawn, about 4 a.m. They were dressed as Maoists, complete with the Velcro red stars attached to their camouflage caps, and they greeted villagers with a pumped fist, called lal salaam, or red salute. "They said, 'lal salaam, comrade,' but I knew they were Army, so I didn't respond, otherwise I knew I would be dead," says Guruprasad Chaulagai, a young farmer. Maoists wear their weapons openly, Mr. Chaulagai says, while these soldiers hid their weapons under their Maoist-style camouflage uniforms.The government's declared state of emergency allows the military and police to operate with impunity. The effect is the muzzling of dissent or anything resembling impartial observation and reporting. As one Nepali human rights activist put it, "Extrajudicial killings have become too commonplace, and they are backed by assurances of impunity, an assured lack of scrutiny when the press is muzzled, and unjustified excuses that the criminal justice system is too weak to bring terrorists to justice."Chiring Thamang, a farmer from a neighboring village, wasn't as observant. He returned the lal salaam and was promptly arrested. An hour later, he was marched about 10 minutes away to a piney knoll for interrogation. At 9 a.m., the villagers heard shots ring out. The bodies of six captives were later found in the woods where they were killed.
There is a fine line between a government's efforts to suppress terrorism and those efforts becoming a substitute for the terrorism they claim to despise. In the case of Nepal, that line has blurred so as to be invisible. In the end, innocent civilians- those the government has sworn to protect- are the real victims.
Mariners management DOES suck....
I wrote last week about the Seattle Mariners policy concerning profanity in their home ballpark, Safeco Field. This included banning shirts that carried statements such as "Yankees Suck" and similar sentiments. Well, now Mariners management has bent to public opinion and relaxed it's policy.Under the change that was announced Tuesday, the stadium crew has been told to take a "don't ask, don't tell" approach -- at least when it comes to use of the word "suck." "This issue is better off going away," Mariners communications vice president Randy Adamack said.By the way, the Yankees really DO suck....Last month, while the New York Yankees were in town, several fans were told to remove or reverse T-shirts saying "Yankees Suck." Tuesday night a few fans wearing "Yankees Suck" or "Mariners Management Sucks" T-shirts were allowed to enter the ballpark for the Mariners' game against the Toronto Blue Jays.
"We may lead the league in ejections from the ballpark, but not because fans are misbehaving more here but because we don't tolerate much," team spokeswoman Rebecca Hale said last week. "This is about appropriate behavior. We have a code of conduct, a policy for language on clothing and banners and signs. Our feeling was this was not promoting what we want."
The shirts were being sold across the street from the stadium by at least one vendor, Hale said. No one was ejected for having the clothing.
They're almost as frightening as Homo Conservatus....Now THIS is useful information. Just don't ask me for what....
An unofficial (but extensive) list of celebrity bra sizes. Sounds like someone has too much time on his hands.... (Bad Samaritan)- Drew Carey, on what Shrub and Ozzy Osbourne have in common (get donkey!)
This is owned by the same people who run anotheruselesssiterunbygeekswhohavenolifeandspendtheirdayslookingatnakedpicturesofannakourni kova.com
If you're the kind of person who enjoys the English language and the myriad ways it can be twisted, distorted, and just generally abused, you'll probably like wemadeoutinatreeand thisoldguysatandwatchedus.com. No joke; that's the name of the site, and it is a broad collection of bad poetry, bad translations, things that sound like country song titles, etc.My personal favorite are the instructions from a Japanese porn site:
Adult contents is contained in this siteApparently, many more people slept through High School English than I'd previously realized.... (Bad Samaritan)
An entrance under 20 years old is refused rigidly
[click one:]
I leave because it is under 20 years old.
I enter because it is over 20 years old.Well, would you drink pink coffee? I didn't think so....
Blue cola?? My God, the next thing you know there'll be green ketchup or white chocolate. Is nothing sacred???You are ... Radioactive Man
Take the Simpsons Quiz @ Space Monkey Mafia dot com
Wednesday 5.8.02
Today's essay: Can't we all just get along?
Just another day of suicide bombs, mailbox bombs, plane crashes, and pedophile priests.... In Minnesota, there is even a report of a priest who is a suspect in an 18-year-old murder. Really makes you want to go to confession, doesn't it??
Why Web journals suck. A cautionary tale. (Fred Lapides)
The best summer internship EVER. Period. No contest. (Bad Samaritan)
Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on....
Imagine loving what you do so much that you never plan on taking a vacation. OK, so playing professional golf isn't exactly the day to day work life that most of us know all too well. Still, Dana Quigley can't imagine why he would ever want to take a week off."I can't think of not playing golf, not playing in a tournament," Quigley said last week as he was setting a record for consecutive tournaments played. "I would never take a week off because I didn't feel like playing or didn't like the golf course, because I don't think there's any golf course that I don't like. I may not be able to play some of them, and maybe some of them I haven't played well in the past, but I would still go there and play. I've got nothing better to do. I've got no life other than golf. I just enjoy playing."
No matter what Quigley does for a living, you've got to admire someone who approaches his work with the love and the passion he does. He has played in every tournament since the end of the 1997 season- 178 consecutive tournaments, all told. Of course, the fact the Quigley has earned $6.5 million over that period certainly doesn't hurt.Even his fellow golfers recognize that Quigley is something special.
"It's unique," said Allen Doyle, one of Quigley's friends and frequent practice-round partners and last year's Senior PGA Tour player of the year. "In this day and age, you want to do a little something that will distinguish you from other people. It's great for the tour. It's almost good that he doesn't take time off. He's good with the crowds, he's a pleasure to be around. I try to hang around with him as much as I can because he's always positive, he's always having a good time. It doesn't matter what he shoots. He's thrilled to be out here. He's got an attitude I try to emulate. That attitude is one that some of these other fellas ought to try and emulate more than they do. Like I said, he's great for the spectators, all the players like him and he likes playing."We should all be so fortunate to be able to live like this....Comments (or love notes) welcome
Thanks to the denizens of the forums @ Something AwfulI warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?
Well, at least it won't be HP Field....Hewlett-Packard has decided that it doesn't want the naming rights for "Your Name Here" Field. I can't say that I really blame them. Supposedly, the Astros have one other (as yet unidentified) company in their sights, but I have a difficult time imagining that someone will want to pay in the neighborhood of $3 million per year to plaster their name all over a ball park. Still, I could be wrong; it's happened before (me being wrong, that is...).
Comments (or baklava recipes) welcome Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see....
And if they were American, they'd be drawing Social Security....Once again proving that you're never too old to rock and roll, The Rolling Stones were announced yesterday as the first concert in our gleaming new Reliant Stadium.
While the concert is more than eight months away, organizers are providing an unusually long time to fill the approximately 45,000 seats. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. June 1 at Ticketmaster locations. Prices will be $50-$90.Kinda makes you wonder what these guys are going to do when they retire, doesn't it??
The news coincided with the band's announcement of the Rolling Stones World Tour 2002/2003 at Van Cortlandt Park in New York. Lead singer Mick Jagger, guitarist Keith Richards, bassist Ron Wood and drummer Charlie Watts arrived in a yellow blimp emblazoned with the Stones' signature red lips and tongue logo. The 32-date trek begins in Boston on Sept. 5 and plays 23 cities in the United States and Canada through Feb. 1. Several cities, including Chicago, New York and Los Angeles, already have multiple dates planned. Others -- including Houston -- have open days around their concerts indicating shows could be added if there is a demand.Comments (or golf lessons) welcome What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
This makes "The Osbournes" look almost normal...."Inside Saddam's World" sounds like it would be something strange, and it certainly doesn't disappoint.
The West has been trying to understand Saddam's psyche for years. A few intimate details have long been observed. Saddam never sleeps in his grand palaces but moves each night to a secret house or tent. He smokes Cohiba cigars supplied by Fidel Castro. He dyes his graying hair black. He walks with a slight limp, allegedly from back trouble, but he looks remarkably fit when seen, usually sitting or standing, on TV....No one outside of his inner circle really knows what makes him tick. This must drive Shrub and his minions nuts. Of course, his daddy couldn't finish him off, either. Clearly, Saddam is a threat, but to what degree is difficult to tell. Though Iraq has effectively been cordoned off since the end of the Gulf War in 1990, how long will the US and it's allies be able to continue? Saddam has shown amazing staying power thus far. It's no stretch to surmise that he is capable of outlasting any measures the West might throw at him.Saddam has limited knowledge of the West and surrounds himself with yes-men who tell him only what he wants to hear. But he shows an eager appetite for certain kinds of information. He constantly monitors CNN and BBC news programs, likes American thriller movies and admires Stalin and Machiavelli. He writes romance novels, supposedly without assistance: just last week a play based on a novel widely believed to have been written by Saddam, Zabibah and the King, opened at Baghdad's elegant new theater. It tells of a lonely monarch in love with a virtuous commoner who is raped on Jan. 17—the day in 1991 that the U.S. attacked Iraq to expel it from Kuwait, which Saddam had invaded the previous August—and killed by a jealous husband egged on by foreign infidels. The king decides he must follow the martyred Zabibah's advice: only strict measures keep the people in line.
Comments (or fruitcake) welcome Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know....
How does a 21-year-old kid from rural Minnesota capture the attention of an entire nation? Apparently, rather easily.Luke J. Helder, a 21-year-old college student from Pine Island, Minn., was arrested after a 40-mile chase on Interstate Hwy. 80. He dropped a gun out the car window when he was stopped about 4:30 p.m., said Alan Davidson, spokesman for the Nevada Highway Patrol. At least one other gun was found in the car, and bomb squads found explosive devices, possibly pipe bombs, said Richard Kirkland, Nevada Public Safety director. During the chase, Helder spoke with the FBI and his parents by cell phone, and agreed to surrender after requesting that he not be tackled during the arrest, Davidson said. He is being held in jail in Reno.I feel for the kid's parents, who, from all indications, had no idea of what he was planning.Speaking -- a few hours before his son's arrest -- outside his house at the intersection of two gravel roads just north of Pine Island, Cameron Helder said that he wanted people to know his son "is not a dangerous person." Helder said he believes Luke "is trying to make a statement about how our government is run. I think Luke wants people to listen to his ideas, and not enough people are hearing him, and he thinks this may help. You have the attention you wanted."Thankfully, he was stopped before anyone was killed. What remains to be answered are the many questions about what drove Helder to take these actions.Comments (or faux British accents) welcome
What is truly frightening is that only 80% of the audience knew the correct answer....
Tuesday 5.7.02
I've decided to experiement with comments. It's crude and email-based, which means means it will definitely fit in with this "no frills" weblog. This may be a short-term or long-term experiment, depending on what kind of response I get. We'll see....
Comments (or incoherent death threats) welcome Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on....
Well, all I ever get are bills, anyway....Another pipe bomb was found in a mailbox in rural Nebraska yesterday, which makes eight in Nebraska and 16 throught the Midwest.
The bombs wounded six people in Illinois and Iowa on Friday, while two other bombs found in Iowa did not explode. The next day, seven bombs were found 350 miles away in Nebraska, but they were detonated harmlessly by authorities.Well, if nothing else there is now a new excuse available to those who don't pay their bills: "I put the check in the mailbox, but then the mailbox blew up."The FBI said today that the bombs and the accompanying notes were nearly identical and clearly came from the same source. The FBI considers the attacks a case of domestic terrorism, and profiling experts have said whoever wrote the note is probably an older American man. Authorities have not said whether they think the bombings were the work of an individual or a group.
FBI agent Larry Holmquist said the only differences in the bombs were slight variations in the detonating mechanisms. He refused to elaborate. "There is no question that these were planted by the same person or persons," Holmquist said.
Officials described the bombs as three-quarter-inch steel pipes attached to 9-volt batteries, and said they appeared to be triggered by being touched or moved.
The typewritten note found with the bombs read, in part: "If the government controls what you want to do they control what you can do. ... I'm obtaining your attention in the only way I can. More info is on its way. More `attention getters' are on the way."
If you think about it, this is the sort of retail terrorism that can potentially be much more damaging than a large attack simply from the fear and trepidation it generates. If you can be made to be afraid of getting your mail, what is next? Cooking dinner? Answering the phone? It may sound silly, but it's not at all out of the realm of possibility....
Comments (or incoherent death threats) welcome
Thanks to the denizens of the forums @ Something AwfulI warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?
Someone ought to tell these folks to check their calendars....Up to seven inches of snow fell across central and western North Dakota and a foot in Calgary and throughout southern Alberta yesterday.
TCpl. Jamie Johnston of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police said no deaths had been reported from a series of accidents reported in and around Calgary, but icy roads made sending tow trucks too risky in some cases.And THAT, folks, is why I live in Texas....
"This is very unique snow for Alberta -- it's compacting almost instantly into wet ice," Johnston said of the storm that hit a large swath of southern Alberta, from Lethbridge in the south to Red Deer in the north and the Rocky Mountains to the west.Comments (or incoherent death threats) welcome
Yes, now through the miracle of cyberscape you can feed a poor, starving Israeli soldier....Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see....
Now THIS ought to be amusing....Republicans, in an effort to woo Hispanic votes, is planning on debuting an issues-oriented television program in selected markets.
Republican National Chairman Marc Racicot announced details Monday of the latest GOP venture to improve the party's appeal in the fast-growing Hispanic community. The title of the new show will be "Abriendo Caminos," Spanish for "opening paths."Personally, given that most Republicans think that Hispanics are useful only as gardeners and construction workers, I think that a GOP television show in any language will be largely and deservedly ignored. If the GOP had a record of positive relations with and within the Hispanic community, things might be different. Except for Cubans, Hispanics have as a group leaned heavily Democratic, especially since Conservative Wing-Nut Republicans aggressively pushed several anti-immigration initiatives in the early 1990's.'"Abriendo Caminos' is an opportunity to communicate directly with the Hispanic community," Racicot said, adding it is important that the Republican agenda "reach every community across America."
The 30-minute show will be aired monthly in media markets in Fresno, California; Albuquerque; Denver; Las Vegas; and in two Florida cities, Miami and Orlando starting May 20. Those media markets are in areas with key races in the fight for control of the U.S. House, and in some states with potentially competitive governors' races like New Mexico and Florida.
Somehow, I have a difficult time imagining Hispanics getting a warm and fuzzy feeling from a GOP infomercial. At least not until the GOP shows a willingness to deal with issues that resonate within the Hispanic community- like jobs, education, health care, and immigration.
Comments (or incoherent death threats) welcome What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
One of Shrub's promises during the 2000 Presidential campaign was that he would reign in what he saw as unchecked government spending. The reality is proving to be somewhat different....With the nation's wartime budget spiraling out of control, and an election six months off, Shrub and the GOP are promising huge new programs, particularly for the elderly as they attempt to buy votes.
The bottom line for Bush, as diligent as his administration tries to be about clamping down on spending not related to the war on terrorism, will be a discretionary spending budget reaching $740 billion.Interesting, isn't it, that someone who ascended to his position by bashing the fiscal policies of Bill Clinton has turned into Clinton II? By supporting AARP's 10-year, $750 billion prescription drug subsidy plan for seniors, the Shrub Administration is effectively talking out of both sides of it's mouth. Knowing that seniors vote, they're quite willing to do what they can to buy the votes of seniors.That amount is 14 percent over last year's budget. By comparison, the percentage increase from 2000 to 2001 was half that. And according to a budget analysis by The Washington Post, this year's spending combined with expected increases for 2003 will mark Bush's first years in office with the largest spending boost since the 1960s "Great Society."
Even though Bush has warned Congress that "excessive federal spending threatens economic vitality," his wartime budget will make him among the White House's biggest spenders.
But all that extra spending -- combined with revenue losses both from increased unemployment, continued lower than expected corporate revenues and major tax cuts Bush ushered through Congress last year and again this year as part of an economic stimulus package -- promises to produce hundreds of billions of dollars in deficits....Indeed. In the end, it's all about retaining their grip on power, not a given when you consider the results of the 2000 Presidential election. If you have no vision or policy to offer, you may as well try to buy your way back into office...."The Bush economic team has a track record no coach could be proud of," said Senate Budget Committee Chairman Kent Conrad, D-N.D. "By continuing to push for additional tax cuts, without saying how they'll pay for it, the Bush administration is poised to drive this country further into debt to the tune of trillions of dollars."
Comments (or incoherent death threats) welcome Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know....
The Minnesota Twins may or may not disappear after this season, but it certainly won't be because they're lacking in conspiracy theories....Comments (or incoherent death threats) welcome
Monday 5.6.02
Fundamentalism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy....
A truly frightening sight from yesterday: me wielding a chainsaw, while simultaneously dealing with a migraine. We've been wanting to clear some brush from next to the lake in our backyard for quite awhile, so when our neighbor offered us the use of his chain saw, we couldn't very well say no, could we? Of course, I've never used a chain saw in my life. I'm happy to report that all of my extremities are still attached where they should be, and we did clear most of the brush. Ah, the joys of home ownership....
And we'd better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite....
It suits the purposes of the US government to portray the regime of Saddam Hussein as shaky and insecure. The reality from inside Iraq is, not surprisingly, quite a bit different. In Iraq, as in much of the Arab world, day to day life, both political and personal, exists on a plane not easily comprehended from the outside. Iraq also has the advantage, if you want to call it that, of resembling something out of Alice in Wonderland.In all things about Saddam, contradictions abound. He is known to surround himself with paranoiac security. Yet when Saddam invited Mohammed Sobhi, an Egyptian actor performing in Baghdad last year, to one of his palaces, security seemed almost nonchalant. Sobhi and his troupe were ushered inside with nary a frisk. Saddam chatted easily, about Iraqi poetry, about the Palestinian problem. He allowed each guest to pose for a picture with him. The notorious dictator struck his Egyptian visitors as steady, smiling, relaxed, cheerful, sensitive, amiable, hospitable. He sounded confident that he had weathered a storm. "Saddam said every Iraqi feels inside him that he is a winner, with his pride intact," recalls Sobhi. "Saddam said, 'We did not lose anything. We refuse to be humiliated in front of the Americans.'"If Iraq is indeed the next target of the Shrub Administration, they would do well to remember that the Arab world does not run on nor respect the tightly ordered diplomatic niceties that we in the West have come to expect. All aspects of life run at a different pace, and those in the American military and political decision-making pipeline would be well-advised to be aware that seldom is anything in the Arab world what it seems to be.Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him! Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
Jacques Chirac was re-elected as President of France, winning an estimated 82.1% of the vote. He defeated far-right, anti-everyone-who-is-different nutcase Jean LePen."We have gone through a time of serious anxiety for the country," Chirac said in his victory speech. "But tonight, France has reaffirmed its attachment to values of the Republic." He promised to immediately address the issue of crime, which had emerged a top voter concern.Hope for what? Lynchings of foreigners?Le Pen, from his headquarters near Paris, called the result "a stinging defeat for hope in France."
It was Le Pen's fourth bid for France's top post. He had called on the French people to reject traditional, mainstream politicians who he said failed to reduce crime, unemployment and immigration. His calls for reserving jobs and social benefits for French citizens -- "France for the French" -- have led critics to brand him as racist and xenophobic.It's good to see that France is not willing to drag itself back into the 15th century. This does not, of course, that it's time to feel good about politics in Europe. Immigration is still a major issue- just ask any Turk who is unfortunate enough to live in Germany. The Era of the European Union may mean open borders, but it should not be take to connote open minds.Le Pen was found guilty in 1990 under a French law which bans denial of the Holocaust after he said Nazi gas chambers were a historical detail. But he steadfastly denies he is anti-Semitic.
And Saint Atila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'Oh, Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats....
The June issue of Science is reporting that a Princeton physicist recently split an atom, only to find a toy prize inside."It was just a cheap plastic clicker you use to make cricket sounds, and it broke, like, the second time I used it, but it was the surprise I found most satisfying," said Prof. Harold Lumiere of the Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory.And to think that the rest of us still have to buy boxes of Cracker Jacks....Science noted that it was the first prize found inside an atom since Allison Wyatt of Cambridge University discovered a magic puzzle toy in a lithium atom in February. For Lumiere, it was the first time in his 15-year, atom-splitting career that he has come across anything more than the normal protons, gluons, and quarks.
"I know that over at MIT, Hendricks has amassed an entire collection of little gewgaws — spinning tops, decoder rings, stickers," he said. "He is so lucky. I hate him."
....Even Enrico Fermi, a pioneer of fission, had to wait nearly 10 years before discovering a plastic whistle inside a newly split nucleus of uranium. "He was so happy, he just cried and cried," wrote colleague Edward Teller in his 1952 book, "The Physicists Guide to Isotopal Isolation and Collectible Atomic Prizes."
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
They're not even sure they'll have a team next year, but there are still some hardcore Minnesota Twins fans living for the moment. For them, life is good at the moment- the Twins are in first place in the AL Central.[I]n Section 216 of the upper deck, Eric Englund, Heidi Sutter and Adam Weber are circulating a card for the other members of the LaTroy Hawkins Fan Club to sign. Later, in the chilly parking lot, when they present the seldom-used relief pitcher with cookies, a Hastings High School cap, a balloon bouquet, and the card, Hawkins gives them hugs and a quizzical look.The guy who wrote this article was a classmate of mine in college. Yes, I'm a bit envious of him being able to go to Twins games and getting paid for it. I've become an Astros fans, but I grew up worshipping the Twins. In the years since I left Minnesota, I've never really stopped...."What's all this for?" he asks.
"Don't you remember what happened seven years ago tonight?" Englund says
"Nope."
"It was your first major-league game."
"Oh yeah," Hawkins says. "Against Baltimore. I stunk. Thanks for remembering. You people are the greatest."
These people are the addicts in the word fanatics. They are among 50 or so of the hardest of hardcore Twins fans. They are architects, convenience store clerks, computer programmers, assembly-line packagers, magazine editors and pre-med students.
Six investment bankers working for Barclays Capital ran up a bar tab of $63,000 at the London restaurant Petrus. They started off with a champagne toast--six glasses for $80. Then they decided to try a few wines, beginning modestly, with a $2,000 bottle of 1984 Montrachet, the world's greatest dry white wine. Now they set their sights higher, asking for a bottle of 1945 Chateau Petrus, the most expensive Bordeaux in the world, at $16,500. The year 1945 tasted so good, they decided to try the 1946 vintage, which sells for a mere $13,400 per bottle. And what the heck, given their post-war celebration, they went ahead and tried the 1947, at $17,500. At some point in the evening they also consumed two bottles of Kronenbourg beer ($10), ten bottles of water ($50), one pack of cigarettes ($7) and one glass of juice ($1). And what better way to top off the celebration than with a 100-year-old bottle of Chateau d'Yquem dessert wine? Prince: $13,100. News accounts don't say whether they tipped the waitstaff the customary 20 per cent--or about $12,500--but we do know that five of the six bankers tried to secretly write off the bacchanalia on their expense accounts. Barclays was not amused. Only one banker remains. No doubt he was the guy who ordered the beer.
As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. The cartoon peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue....
I couldn't very well let this one pass....The Clear Creek Independent School District no longer allows students to pay cash for their meals. All students must deposit money into an account which is accessed by a Personal Identification Number (PIN). Now your reaction may well be the same as mine: "Say what??" It's true, though, and one mother of a CCISD student is not all happy about the policy and it's implications.
First, the system is compulsory. The cafeteria refuses to accept cash without a PIN number. This is despite the fact that it says on our money: "This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private." If the school does not accept cash for the lunch, it is breaking the law. The law doesn't say we have to have a PIN number. If retail stores began requiring an ID before they accept cash, their businesses would suffer dramatically because customers would object. What business is it of theirs who I am when I buy a cup of coffee or a book with cash? If we see the invasion of privacy in one case, why not the other?....The privacy questions alone should be enough to get most of us pause. my question is the same as this mother's:Second, the PIN accounts are used to keep a record of the number of times each child bought lunch at school. This is necessary to send the periodic reports to parents about their children's accounts. But if the parents object, there is no recourse. I have told my children that they are not allowed to use their PINs and to tell the cafeteria worker that their mother said so. Just give cash. After a few weeks of this at Armand Bayou Elementary, the cafeteria staff got to know my children and just entered their PIN number themselves. In other words, the school is keeping records of my children's spending habits over my strict objections. This is a clear invasion of privacy.
Do we have any guarantee that the schools' food services contractor, Aramark, will not sell the PIN records to a consumer marketing group?Some of the potential consequences of the collecting of this sort of data may seem a stretch, but I think it deserves careful consideration. Do we want Aramark selling this data to marketers? Are there safeguards in place to ensure that this does not happen? I'm guessing probably not. Of course, there is another question here begging to be asked. Should schools be in the banking business? Like they don't have enough responsibilities to meet as it is....I'm not going to stoop to playing the "this is just another government conspiracy" card, but I couldn't argue with anyone who might. It certainly is a matter for concern....
Sunday 5.5.02
Today's essay: And after the spanking, the oral sex....
Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!
Now this is ironic.... Since all of the speed limits in the eight-county Houston metropolitan area have been reduced to 55, Harris County's chief prosecutor is expecting trouble. Since motorists ticketed for driving over the speed limit are technically cited for driving in an unsafe manner, DA Chuck Rosenthal is expecting many to claim that they HAD to exceed 55 in order to drive safely, since almost everyone else out there is.In a letter to Harris County Attorney Michael Stafford, District Attorney Chuck Rosenthal said "it will be difficult to prosecute" violators of the 55-mph speed limit who demand jury trials, because drivers could argue that exceeding the posted speed wasn't unsafe.I still find it interesting that TNRCC expects motorists to shoulder the burden, when industry contributes much more to Houston's pollution problems and is required to do NOTHING to clean things up. Of course, individual motorists don't have PACs and tons of money to throw at legislators and rule-makers....Under Texas law, motorists who exceed posted limits are assumed to be driving in an unsafe, imprudent manner. But they actually are ticketed for driving in an unsafe manner, not because they went over a speed limit. The law thus opens the door to the argument that a motorist who exceeds the speed limit was nonetheless driving in a safe manner, Rosenthal said.
"I believe that it would be difficult to convince a jury that a speed in excess of 55 is unreasonable, given the historical fact a speed of 70 was considered by the Texas Transportation Commission to be reasonable and prudent a few short weeks ago," Rosenthal wrote.
Listen, lad. I've built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad -- the strongest castle in these islands.
How creepy is this?Japanese divers have found several bodies lashed to a sunken suspected North Korean spy ship, raising suspicion they attached themselves to the vessel to make recovery difficult, according to a newspaper report.How cynical and inhuman must a government be to go to these lengths? There is speculation that as many as eight or nine crew members might have tied themselves to the vessel in order to make recovery difficult.Japan is trying to identify the ship and its mission. Intelligence sources suspect the ship was on a spying or drug smuggling mission for Pyongyang when it sank during an exchange of fire with a Japanese coastguard vessel in December.
Tokyo wants to raise the ship to prove the boat is North Korean so it can lodge an official complaint. It also wants to cull evidence from the sunken hulk about North Korea's suspected spying and drug trade in East Asian waters.
North Korea, predictably, is accusing the Japanese of conducting a smear campaign against their government (cue Claude Rains: I am SHOCKED that there is gambling taking place...).
And people wonder why Communism is down to it's last breath?
What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land....
Shrub meets the Prince of Darkness....At this year's White House Correspondent's Dinner, there were some guests that the stuffed-shirt crowd might not have expected- like Ozzy Osbourne and his family, f'rinstance.
Comedian Drew Carey was on hand to provide the entertainment during the more than three-hour event, doing stand-up comedy for the president and more than 1,800 guests, from top White House adviser Karl Rove to hard rocker turned reality show star Ozzy Osbourne. Osbourne and his wife, Sharon, were the guests of Fox News' Greta Van Susteren. The couple and two of their three kids are stars of the MTV hit reality show, "The Osbournes," which chronicles the family's wacky, profane home life.I imagine the event's censor got quite the workout....
i'm a rabbit.
what kinda pet are you?
quiz made by muna.We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, has just fallen to his death....
I haven't been to many weddings in my life, so I'm never quite sure how to act at one. With this in mind, it was nice of the Prince of Darkness to come out with his very own wedding etiquette guide. This should make things MUCH easier for me....
France: Arrogance, apathy, and self-righteousness or ignorance, xenophobia, and repression? You make the call....The World Wrestling Federation appealed a London court decision denying it the right to use the initials "WWF" on its logo. Worldwide rights to "WWF" belong to the World Wildlife Fund, which registered its logo in 1961, said the court. The World Wrestling Federation's appeal was denied, leaving only one last chance: a three-fall panda death-cage match.
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "ni" at will to old ladies.... There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Thanks to Brian Kane for hipping me to this....Ever have an idea that you think might work, but is just too goofy to believe?? As with anything else on the Internet, there's a site for people just like you. And while you're at it, check out the Pineapple-flavored Coffee, or the Elmer Fudd Stress Indicator.
Saturday 5.4.02
You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me....
I suppose this is the type of terrorism we should be most concerned about.... Five people were wounded yesterday when pipe-bombs placed in rural mailboxes exploded."At this point, it appears as though the explosives devices were intended to detonate when they were removed from rural boxes, mailboxes," U.S. Postal Service Inspector Linda Jensen said.With all of the emphasis on blown up buildings, etc., perhaps the more realistic threat is retail terrorism, the type that won't kill hundreds or thousands, but may well terrorize that many. There are plenty of domestic fringe groups ready, willing, and able to accomplish such relatively small-scale attacks. Catching the culprits may well prove to be the difficult part.The eight pipe bombs -- placed in primarily rural areas of the two states -- were made from three-quarter-inch pipes with a 9-volt battery attached. Postal officials said the bombs did not go through the U.S. mail and appeared to be placed in mailboxes randomly.
How cowardly must you be to place a bomb in someone's mailbox???
Which Presidential Hopeful Are You?
This quiz was made by Ben.And after the spanking, the oral sex....
Well, THIS will certainly inspire confidence in the Catholic Church and their response to pedophile priests....The Rev. Norman Rogge, a 77-year-old former Dallas priest, could be a poster boy for pedophilia within the Catholic Chrurch. He certainly is the beneficiary of the Church's lenience and look-the-other-way mentality. His list of accomplishments include:
It boggles the imagination, trying to determine how a man of the cloth like Fr. Rogge has managed to avoid event the most minimal form of accountability for his actions.
- Groping a young teen at a movie
- Fondling teens during swimming lessons
- Exposing himself to an 11-year-old boy on a weekend trip, and
- soliciting oral sex
What makes the 77-year-old former Dallas priest unusual is that he has been criminally prosecuted twice for child molestation. He pleaded guilty the first time and no contest the second. And – as some Catholic leaders are calling for a "one-strike" abuse policy and priests are being removed from ministry almost daily – Father Rogge remains in good standing, working at a Jesuit retirement home in New Orleans.For years, the Catholic Church has, while not actively encouraging this sort of despicable behavior, certainly enabled the abuse and mistreatment of children. Given the years of denial, obfuscation, and outright lies, I wonder if the Church will ever be able to regain it's credibility. At this point in time, it certainly doesn't deserve to. Let's hope that cooler heads will prevail, that they will clean house, and that they will begin the work of trying to repair the damage that has been done. I think that, ultimately, will be the only hope for the Church's long-term survival in the US.Oh, that's an unladen swallow's flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallow's flights away -- four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between them....
For a state with such a large teacher shortage, Texas sure does a damn poor job of making teaching an attractive option for those looking to make a difference. Why should people be penalized when it comes to their Social Security benefits if they decide they want to teach?Oh, anyway, on to scene twenty-four, which is a smashing scene with some lovely acting....
And I am one of the 6%.... The unemployment rate shot up to 6% last month, the nations's highest level of joblessness in almost eight years. Boy, does THAT inspire confidence....Thomas Monaghan, founder of Domino's Pizza, wants to erect a 250-foot crucifix and a 40-foot Jesus on the campus of Ave Maria College, which he founded in Ypsilanti but is planning to move to Ann Arbor Township, Mich., where he will turn it into a university to go along with the church, Catholic school, Catholic day-care center, two convents, two Catholic radio stations, a foreign mission, and a Catholic newspaper that he's already located there. The town of 5,000 is not exactly happy with the idea of becoming all Catholic, all the time, but since Monaghan is the largest landowner, there's not much they can do except reject his proposal for the 25-story cross, which, in town- planning terms, is like an anchovy.
We are the Knights Who Say..."Ni"!
Martha Stewart is, if you can stop snickering for a few seconds, a pretty remarkable story. Though I, like a lot of folks, find her a bit over the top at times, I do admire her talent and ability for making the world around her a more attractive place. At 60, she has carved out a pretty amazing niche for herself.Her first garden was at a home in Massachusetts and where she learned the art of gardening. She said she was lucky to have learned the basics from her father while growing up. The gardens of her next home, Turkey Hill in Westport, Conn. (familiar from her TV show "Martha Stewart Living") have evolved into a picture-perfect paradise, even though she admitted she couldn't control the colors....Laugh if you must, but here is someone who is doing exactly what she wants to do in exactly the way that she wants to do it. On top of that, she is fabulously successful. Who can argue with that??The words "gorgeous" "amazing" and "luscious" were sprinkled among her descriptions, just as in her TV show. When Stewart couldn't help herself, she added Marthesque tips such as "feed your moss garden buttermilk and beer." A well-known pet lover, she included a photo of one of her seven Himalayan cats lounging in her garden. "I've been trying to encourage them to weed," she said.
Friday 5.3.02
Here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!
For some time now, we've been hearing noises in our attic, particularly at night. We finally broke down and called an exterminator. The guy crawled up into our attic, came down and told me that we have rat droppings in the attic.This is not good. I have a pathological, beyond-irrational fear of rats. I can live with mice, but rats send me over the edge (this is truly ironic for someone who has spent as much time in Third World countries as I have...). Don't expect me to explain the difference; it's an irrational fear, after all. Unfortunately, we have a lake in our backyard, and rats love water (Who knew?? Drain the lake!! Drain the lake!!) Here in southeast Texas, the cockroaches and rats rule. We're just fortunate that they allow us to live here.
The next step, of course, is war, although I certainly don't want to be the one to declare it and/or wage it. Unfortunately, being the man of the house, I have a feeling this will fall into my purview. At times like these, I almost regret having been born with testicles. Damn....
Oh, Dennis, forget about freedom. We haven't got enough mud....
When a grand jury yesterday declined to indict any of the four Baytown Police Officers involved in the unfortunate death of Luis Alfonso Torres, you could almost hear special-interest groups firing up the rhetoric.Torres, 45, a documented worker from Mexico, quit breathing Jan. 20 after officers struggled for eight minutes to get him handcuffed on a Baytown street. The incident was recorded by a video camera mounted in a patrol car. The county medical examiner ruled his death a homicide resulting from mechanical asphyxiation, or compression of his airways. In addition to bruising of the neck and trachea, the autopsy noted blunt trauma to the head that had caused brain hemorrhages.A particularly reprehensible performance was turned in by the spokesman for LULAC, a national Hispanic advocacy group, whose comment was essentially that "it's open season on Hispanics." I don't pretend to know all the details of this case, and there are many shades of right and wrong at work here. Still, to make an inflammatory statement of that nature is simply irresponsible. Instead of trying to inflame passions, community leaders need to be working to ensure that the situation does not explode into something far worse and much more difficult to manage.I'm not going to second-guess the verdict of the grand jury. They had more information at their disposal than I've had. It's clear, though, that there are no winners in this case. The bottom line is that we still have one dead Hispanic male. We also have four police officers who likely could have conducted themselves with a bit more patience and compassion. Nonetheless, that does not make them guilty of murder. Now that the grand jury has spoken, I would challenge those trying to pour gasoline on the flames to step back and commit themselves to trying to bring the community together. If they can do that, perhaps then Torres' death will come to stand for something positive.
When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled....
There are times when "zero tolerance" is taking the easy way out. "Zero tolerance" in our schools often means that children are punished for the silliest of things, like, f'rinstance, drawing stick figures.A Pennsylvania school suspended an 11-year-old girl for drawing two teachers with arrows through their heads, saying the stick figures were more death threat than doodle.In this case, it sounds as if Becca was doing what her parents had taught her about dealing with anger. The drawing may seem unpleasant to some, but what is so unhealthy about expressing your anger?Becca Johnson, an honor-roll sixth-grader at Mellon Middle School, drew the picture on the back of a vocabulary test on which she had gotten a D. "That's my way of saying I'm angry," Becca said, adding she meant no harm to the teachers.
The stick figures, on a crudely drawn gallows with arrows in their heads, had the names of Becca's teacher and a substitute teacher written underneath. Another teacher spotted the doodle in the girl's binder Tuesday and reported it, prompting the three-day suspension.
When does "zero tolerance" become "zero common sense"? In cases such as this, when adults don't bother to see the forest for the trees.
which "monty python and the holy grail" character are you?
this quiz was made by colleenThat's enough music for now, lads. Looks like there's dirty work afoot....
Rumor has it there is a job boom coming. My question is: "How do I get me some of dat?"
So who were those guys who beat the Expos yesterday??Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom....
Jamie Sale and David Pelletier, the Canadian figure skaters made famous by a judging scandal at the Salt Lake Olympics, have announced their retirement. Perhaps now Ms. Sale will have time to pose nude for someone, so all those people who find my site by doing Google searches for "Jamie Sale naked" will actually have somewhere to go....
Biggio gets one for the Monsignor.Researchers at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine report that cloned mice get fat in adulthood, raising the specter that attempting to clone, say, Janet Jackson could result in Oprah Winfrey, while a cloned Kevin Bacon could eventually resemble John Madden. The advantage is that it would replace "glandular problems" as the most overused excuse for obesity, as in, "Don't be mean to her. She's cloned."
I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear....
Now here's something you don't see every day.... A 35-year old woman, accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy, has been ordered by a judged to pose nude for a photographer. The idea is that the boy may be able to identify features of the woman's body, and this could prove crucial to the prosecutor's case.[Dewanna] Granberg, who was arrested in January, denies the allegations. Her lawyers argued that a search warrant demanding Granberg pose nude for police photographers was an invasion of their client's privacy.Left unanswered was the question of whether or not the photos would be posted on the Internet upon the conclusion of the case....But Superior Court Judge Mark McCauley said Tuesday that the photos may prove to be "fruitful evidence." Whether the boy can identify telling things about Granberg's body could be a "crucial" element in the case, the judge said.
Thursday 5.2.02
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: "Whose?"- Don Marquis
It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign of all England!!!Petra, Jordan- one of the most incredible places on earth. I've been there, and these pictures still take my breath away. (Fred Lapides)
And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped....
Ok, we all know that there is a shortage of teachers in Texas. This will certainly not help in remedying that proble.The reason is a little-known Social Security regulation called the "windfall elimination provision," designed to prevent so-called double-dipping into government retirement funds. Under the provision, benefits are reduced for many workers who move from a job where they pay into Social Security to one where they instead contribute to a state pension fund -- as is the case in most of Texas' public school districts.That's right; we want you to give up your job so you can teach, but if you do that, we're going to penalize you for it. What Ph.D. thought THAT one up?A worker can lose as much as $300 a month as a result of the provision, said Mark Hinckle, a spokesman for the Social Security Administration. The provision has received scant attention nationally, partly because Texas is one of only 15 states where government workers, including teachers, do not have Social Security taxes withheld from their paychecks.
Gayle Fallon, president of the Houston Federation of Teachers, said she applauds the effort. But, she said, as would-be teachers begin to understand the effect on their Social Security benefits, they may change their minds about starting a second career.This obvious willfull disregard is both deceptive and reprehensible. My thinking is that I still want to get back into teaching, but finding this out makes me wonder what other "surprises" are out there. Teachers have too often taken it in the shorts. Now that there actually is a shortage, you'd think that government would find a way to do the right thing. Apparently not."I think it will ultimately hurt recruitment," she said. "It would be more of a deterrent if more people coming in were aware of it. Instead it's like a blindside."
....Ronnie Veselka, a human resources specialist in the Houston Independent School District, said new hires are given an introductory packet on the Texas Teacher Retirement System, but no mention is made of risks to their Social Security benefits.
"We don't get into it," he said.
We're the government, and we're here to help you....
This new learning amazes me, Sir Beldevere. Explain again how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes....
The Montreal Expos 2002 Death March continued in Houston last night, with the Expos beating the moribund Astros 5-4. Montreal's Vladimir Guerrero, who, in my humble opinion, is the best player in baseball, hit two home runs. He'll look good patrolling right field in Yankee Stadium next year, won't he?For a team operating under Satan's sword of Damocles, the Expos are playing very well. Wouldn't it be something to see them make the playoffs. That should make Satan- I mean Bud Selig- sweat just a bit, eh??
The game only drew 25,535, and a good portion of those did not even have to pay for their tickets. I got four tickets for donating canned food at a game a couple of weeks ago. Let's hope the Astros at least got to write off the tickets they gave away....
Montreal 5, Houston 4 (If a baseball team falls in the forest and doesn't make a sound...)Well, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot -- it is a silly place....
In a revelation that should come as a shock to absolutely no one, the National Academies' National Research Council is reporting that there is no single, fool-proof, 100% effective method for protecting children from pornography.A two-year study finds that Internet-filtering technologies -- like the "parental control" system from America Online, a sister AOL Time Warner company to CNN -- are effective but offer no guarantee to parents of 100-percent efficiency now or in the future. Those filters block access to adult Web sites and allow parents to control the access children have to the Internet.Instead of relying on technology to do the job of parents, perhaps parents need to concentrate on teaching children the importance of making sound decisions. I'm not implying that parents don't do that now, but it is easy, perhaps too much so, to rely on available technology when life becomes too hectic and harried. How many parents haven't used their television as a baby-sitter?"You can block anything in the world, in certain environments," says John Rabun, a member of the academies' panel and vice president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. "But the whole idea of supervision, the cop on the beat, the parents on the beat, really is overrated by an awful lot of folks, we found."
It really is an uphill battle, and the hill is only going to get steeper....Japan is sharpening its harpoons, announcing it will double the number of whales it harvests this year in the North Pacific-- for "scientific research," of course. Japan plans to kill 50 minke whales and 50 sei whales on top of the 100 minkes it has already been killing annually, and in addition to the 440 minke whales it kills in Antarctic waters each year. Japan is the only country not participating in the international whaling moratorium, claiming that they take whales for dissection and scientific study, and the meat shows up in supermarkets only as an unrelated event--to avoid wasting it. And let's face it, there's nothing like a good whale roast on those lazy summer nights.
I'm French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king!
Wow, He must be REALLY pissed....Making good on last week's threat to wipe the Middle East off the map unless fighting between Israelis and Palestinians ceased immediately, God re-flooded the region Tuesday.
As of press time, a torrential rain continues to fall on Israel and the West Bank, with the downpour expected to continue for another 39 days and 39 nights. Thus far, flood waters have risen more than 200 feet, drowning most of the humans and animals in the vicinity. The few remaining survivors, most of whom cling to pieces of driftwood, have made desperate pleas for mercy, but their cries have fallen on deaf ears in Heaven, with the Lord refusing to stem the raging waters.It's going to be tough for both sides to continue the conflict under 800 feet of water....
Wednesday 5.1.02
Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.- Diogenes the Cynic
Behold, the Holy Hand Grenade!!Today's Essay: Large men with big sticks....
But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting....
Here's some good news, and Lord knows I can use it. One of my short fiction pieces was published in Banshee Studio's quarterly writing contest. There is a lot of other high-quality work posted as well. Check it out!!Monks chanting and hitting themselves over the head....
The Montreal Expos 2002 Funeral Tour hit Houston last night. I've got tickets to view the body tonight, but it's not as if Les Expos are going out quietly. Though they are the poster boys for the term "lame ducks", Montreal is a first-place team. Granted it's only the beginning of May, and only one of eight teams (Seattle) in this position last year made the playoffs, but it's still a good story.They were one of the franchises commissioner Bud Selig ticketed for contraction last winter, and even though they survived for at least one more season, they're almost surely playing their final season in Montreal, if not their final season, period. Their best-case scenario is a move to Washington, D.C., next winter. Their worst-case scenario is being disbanded after the season.Last night, Les Expos laid a 5-1 thumping on the Astros and their ace, Roy Oswalt. I love an underdog, particularly a Canadian one. I know that people in hockey-mad Montreal don't appreciate the Expos, but they're a good, young team that plays the game right. With Frank Robinson as your manager, how could you not??"The attitude now is, it's out of our control, so let's just play baseball and forget about it," center fielder Peter Bergeron said.
When New York arts dealer Jeffrey Loria bailed out on the franchise after its fifth straight losing season to buy the Florida Marlins last winter, Major League Baseball took over operation of the Expos. They still play in front of sub-5,000 crowds most nights at cavernous Olympic Stadium. Yet they're more than just respectable.
Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the Dragon of Angnor,who had nearly stood up to the viscious Chicken of Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill....
So you've decided to be evil?? Well, it's about damn time! And since we know how little time you have these days to actually be evil, here's a site to help you with the planning. Bon chance, mes amis!! (katecohen.com)You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together....
God, I love watching Philadelphia Flyers General Manager Bobby Clarke suffer. Is there a more miserable, mean-spirited man in hockey? Certainly no one that I can think of. Now, he has just fired his sixth head coach in seven years. What does that say about Clarke's leadership? Perhaps the next person he should fire is...himself. The Flyers lost their first round playoff series to the Ottawa Senators, which doesn't necessarily qualify as an upset, but Ottawa is a team the Flyers should have handled. Normally, I'm not one to gloat over another's defeat or misfortune, but pardon me if I enjoy this one for awhile. Clarke deserves it. If you believe in reincarnation, Bobby Clarke is destined to return in his next life as a troll.
Man, I wish I'd seen THIS on my birthday!!Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government....
And what does being vegetarian have to do with this story? Two parents in New York City have been charged with child endangerment after authorities discovered that the child's weight was only half what it should be.Prosecutors said the baby was fed ground nuts, fresh-squeezed juices, herbal tea, beans, cod liver oil and flax seed oil. She was not breast-fed or given infant formulas.This is a story of child abuse, not vegetarianism. What, the child would have been fine if only the parents had forced a few Big Macs down the child's throat? Get serious. This is the sort of crap that vegetarians have had to deal with going on forever. Eating meat or not eating meat is hardly the issue here. Child abuse is the issue. Let's not lose focus here.It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five-ounce bird could not carry a one-pound coconut....
Bitter Lemons is one of the few places on the Internet where you can find both Palestinian and Israeli viewpoints in their unvarnished form.Bitterlemons.org is a website that presents Israeli and Palestinian viewpoints on prominent issues of concern. It focuses on the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and peace process, but other, related regional issues are also discussed. It is produced, edited and partially written by Ghassan Khatib, a Palestinian, and Yossi Alpher, an Israeli. Its goal is to contribute to mutual understanding through the open exchange of ideas. It aspires to impact the way Palestinians, Israelis and others worldwide think about regional issues.I suppose the dialogue has to begin somewhere....I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective....
This would never fly in Philadelphia or New York (Whaddya mean, we can't yell "Fuck the Islanders!"??):Mariners fans who wore "Yankees Suck" T-shirts to last weekend's three-game series in Seattle were told to take the shirts off, turn them inside out or leave the stadium. "This is about appropriate behavior," Mariners spokeswoman Rebecca Hale said. "We have a code of conduct, a policy for language on clothing and banners and signs. Our feeling was this was not promoting what we want."Welcome to Seattle's Safeco Field, the Happiest Place on Earth....Karen Morgan beat up a 51-year-old woman for bringing too many items into an express checkout line at a supermarket in Lowell, Mass. Morgan, 38, was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon--her foot--after becoming enraged that there were 13 items in the basket of a woman using a 12-item line. Her chances of freedom now depend on careful jury selection, as Lowell is known as a city that shows no mercy for express-line hooliganism.
An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!
Well, did she or didn't she? Did Anna Kournikova pose nude for Penthouse magazine, and if so, why should we care? Kournikova's agent says that the "tennis star" (and I use the term very loosely) will sue the freelance photographer who sold the purported nude photos to Penthouse. The agent is also saying that the pictures are fake. Again, will anyone really care??
